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Monday, August 20, 2012

I was wrong.

It's been a while that I had been staring at this page. I don't even know what to say. Speechless. All I know is my heart hurts. It hurts so much. So much. So. So. Much.

Too much.

I remember talking to your friend for an hour yesterday, telling him how I feel. Telling him to do something. Telling me to return you back to me. He promised me that he would do something. He would try.

I was excited for the day. But my world crumbled down when he told me you talked to him. And he said you made it clear.

I had no idea what he was talking about. I asked him to explain clearer. And then, he said,"he made it clear that he broke up with you."

I stared at the hand phone, dropped it. And I just don't know why tears keep streaming down my face. Like an overflowing river.

Why do you have to be so mean? I told myself that no, you're not like that. I know you said that to make me hate you, forget you, leave you and live on my happy life. Right? RIGHT? Tell me YES.


My head hurts. My eyes hurt. My nose hurts. My pillows are wet. But what hurts the most is my fragile heart.

It just hit me that you're this cold hearted person. It's been so long since I cried this hard. The last time I cried this hard you said you're sorry. You held my hand and say you need me in your life. How about now?

I was wrong all the while.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Wishes don't come true.

I remember when I was in Swizterland looking over shooting stars, I made a wish,"I hope everything between us will be fine. I hope you will come back to me and we live the life we had. I hope one day you will marry me and we had a lot of kids and live happy ever after."

That was more than one wish. That was 6 wishes. But all of them was about, you.

I haven't been blogging so much because I thought I found someone to talk to everyday and tell my feelings to. But now, all I have is myself. And my dead blog.

I remember the times we had clearly. From that campfire. To ICC. To Chinese New Year 2009. To valentines 2009. To the outings. To the tuition. To your birthday 2009. And happiness and my birthday. Everything seemed perfect for me. I remember you heading my hand, telling me to not ever leave you. But today, you left me.