Confessions.

I don’t know why I felt like blogging suddenly. I was just watching a movie and just as soon as I finish watching it, I turned on my laptop and out and started to type out my feelings. I wanted to blog so much but I cant get the internet connection somehow. So I guess I’ll just type it here, in Microsoft word and update my blog later.

We had a fight.

I don’t know why but its just that these days we cant communicate.

Why? I wonder.

I was just staring at space, and started to wonder.  Where did it went wrong? Is it me? Am I not understanding enough. I don’t understand. That’s the problem with people. They will never know who’s wrong first.  I thought I was okay with the fight and all. Happily going through my life like how I used to do it everyday but I realise that im just avoiding the truth.

You know, at times, I just wonder whats wrong with me. If everyone starts to leave me one by one, it must be me. Well, not everyone. Its just people I care about most. Like, my bestfriends.

And,

Others.

You know, I cant really take it anymore. Well, if you’re starting to get annoyed about my rantings, there’s an “X” button at the right top corner of the screen. You are welcomed to press that.

Back to the point,

So, I was just pausing my life and started to think. Just why. And how. Why can relationships (in general) could be so fragile? How, HOW, did it ended up like this. I’ve not been posting on my blog because I finally found someone to talk to. EVERYTHING that happened in my life. But you see, its different now. I cant find someone else to talk to if I had a fight with that particular person. So, who do I have?

I started to regret not treating my really close friends in highschool right. Not like I tortured them or something. Its just that, I was selfish.  I didn’t really care about their feelings. I want it and so I must get it kinda thing. And at that time, I just cared about how I felt.

Regret. Is a very deep word. It means that you wish you can turn back time and change things.

WHICH, is impossible.

So I start treating people very nice, and I started to give them everything they ask for, hoping that history does not repeat. But, sadly, its just not working. I don’t know how to express it. The kind of feeling that you cant express because its just so deep. too deep.

I don’t know where this post is taking me to. It makes me realised so many things. Guessed I wasn’t mature enough to realise it when I was younger.

You know, I really wonder who will attend my funeral if I die one day. Humans. Arent they creatures that hide their true feelings and just keep it to themselves until one day, that person you care for doesn’t exist in this world anymore and they just, regret.

Its been a long time since I feel like suddenly, something just hit something hard on my face. 

Like you got stabbed right on your heart, tearing you apart.

Feeling lost.

Feeling lonely.

Felt like you did not belong to this world.

Feeling different.

If one day my ex-bestfriends or other people who are suppose to see this post, I hope they forgive me for everything I have done. I know Im not a  good friend nor a good person to be with.

People tend to backspace what they really want to type. And then hide what they want to say back into their heart and type out a lie. I say that because that was what I was doing. Because I care what people think about me the moment they read this. But I know the right thing to do isn’t this.

Im currently listening to the song “I wanna make love in this club”. There’s a lot of memories in this song. I remembered I was singing this to my bestfriend and she was just giving me the “ewh” look.. and we would both just laugh about it. Well, now, she’s still my friend. But a distanced one.

I miss highschool. Form 3 and form 4, to be specific. Form 5 is just too much for me to take in. So, I don’t know why I was drifting further apart with people who used to be my bestfriends. I still couldn’t figured it out. But I didn’t have the guts to ask them. Now, whenever I see them, I felt like a stranger to them no matter how much I tried to make conversations with them.

The truth is, I’m devastated about this. I have happy dreams every night whenever I sleep everyday and its about the happiness I’ve been through with my high school bestfriends those days. And when I wake up in the morning, I would just stare at the ceiling. And I would be thinking, it was just a dream.

I tried to move on but it was too difficult for me. I’m listening to “graduation by vitamin C”. I’ve always love that song.

“We will still be friends forever.”

That’s what they sang. The fact that everything will not be the same again really hurts me.

I’ve tried. So hard. To keep things same. But I guess it JUST WONT be the same again. Like, I’ve organised my birthday party, and only 2 of my highschool friends came. Only 2. Out of 50, probably? When all of them said no, I thought they were just joking. I thought they wanted to surprise me. On that day, before the party, I cried so hard. And everytime I get a birthday msg from one of my bestfriends, the smile on my face could last a day. But at the same time, some just didn’t wish me. I was actually quite disappointed. Im not trying to point out anyone or blame anyone here. I know they couldn’t make it. Its not that they don’t want to. Oh well, life.

It can never be perfect.

Wow. I’ve written so much. But you probably wont understand a thing. Its just that I’ve so much problems these days and I wish, I wish that someday, someone would understand me and listen to all my problems. Not just SOME RANDOM PERSON, but probably my bestfriends? I just hope one day they would call up and just say hi or something. Probably, laugh about the past? I don’t know.

Guess I’ll just go with it.

 Well, I’ll stop here.

Till then,

To Joonie,

Since you gave me a little gift hrough the Internet, I figured, i should repay you by writing a short post for you :D
Never thought that you actually miss me!
Thanks, a lot :) im really touched :D
Although we were strangers,
Although we are still strangers,
But I felt like I'm close to you,
Like I talk to you a lot!
Guess jayesslee were the one who brought us to be from acquaintances to friends
I'm actually upset that you would leave,
Not like it would make any difference
But, Japan is like so far! :(
REMEMBER TO GET ME SOUVENIRS WHEN YOURE BACK K? :D
anddddddddd,
Be careful of the radiation!
Do come back to Malaysia and maybe that time we will meet up :)

All the best for you and last but not least,

Take Care | Forward this Picture

A thank you note :)

I had the time of my life yesterday :) and I thank every single one of them who attend my birthday party. It was beyond awesome :) I love you guys xoxo

Im a confused child.

Okay, so this is the matter, everytime there's something bugging me, I would turn to my blog. Its like a place to vent out my frustration. Not really frustration.. just, something tht bothers me.

I feel like, no. I realised that you cant get everything you want. Maybe that's it.. life isnt perfect. Well, that's true. You cant have everything you want. hm, I dont really know what im talking about. I just want to express something that is bugging me.

Sometimes in life, we JUST NEED to be alone for awhile. To calm down and think of everything. Like, to clear everything up in your mind.

Well, I cant deny I have a good life. Human beings are just like that eyh? They want more and more. And like, there's never enough.

I honestly think that I should be satisfied with my life. Convince me to.

*sigh*

What does SPM results really mean?

people, you must really watch this video. It is such an inspiring video. I love it so much. Keep replaying it. Eventhough i dont know what he's rapping in chinese, but i can feel his emotions and ofc, the subtitles helped alot :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt8Um_uCvJI&feature=player_embedded#at=21

so, tomorrow, SPM results will be released. Can you believe it? The previous post, i was just posting about my SPM that had just ended. In just a blink of an eye, 3 months passed. So fast.

In this 3 months, eventhough it is just a short time, but I learned alot of things. I met many new friends, and they are all great :)

After watching the video I realised something, that SPM results is not everything. Listening to that song really makes me wanna cry. It made me realise that there are many people out there who are 1000000x worse than us. What? SPM RESULTS? Does it really matter? Yes, to your future, but its nothing.

Looking forward, well, you can do better next time. Yes, maybe u might be scared disappointing your parents. Just like me. But, what can you do? What is done, is done. Not like you can change anything. Obviously you would be damn sad if its bad. But, what you can do is do better for what is ahead and not look at the past. Cause doing that is really useless.

Okay, i know what i post may not really help. Maybe to me also cause I might just burst out crying if i really get REALLY BAD results. But i think im gonna be fine after that. I promise.

And i will always keep my promise.

Twist and Turn Of Life.

It has been a bloody long time since I blogged. Like the last time I blogged was last year. In a blink of an eye, im in college. Choosing what to wear everyday is a problem. It’s like everywhere you go, you practically see someone who has the exact same thing as you do. Hmm.

And I thought college would be a more relaxing enviroment sorta thing. NO. I was wrong. College is hell. To be exact, its more stressful than I thought. Really. No joke. You really have to constantly study and do your 10 tonnes of homework everyday. Since I started college, I had never been stop being sick.

This year, eventhough barely 3 months passed, I went through a lot of things. I got to meet new friends, and went through a lot of medication, walking in and out of the hospital. Hm, I wonder how are my friends doing. Its been a really long time since I speak to them. I miss them. Really. Reading my past posts in my blog made me emo. But what is life? Everyone goes through ups and downs. And im sorry if I had made anyone upset in whatever I have posted. I solemnly apologize.

Two zero one one has been a great year. Not really, but at least I got a bunch of girlfriends im close to. And im lucky to have my best friend to be in the same class with me. Im happy that I get to meet my seniors all the time. I actually realised I spend time a lot with my friends but not from my formal school. Cause I thought they would be too busy for me and.. .. nvm.

Anyway, Im glad that I have someone supporting me through out all these times. SPM results are really coming out soon. To be honest, I don’t have much confidence in myself. I know I did badly. Well, even the results are not out yet, the moment you put down your pen when the invigilator asks you to stop writing, you practically forecast your results already. And mine, hmm.. I personally think tht I did a really bad job.

I actually think that I have a lot of things to catch up with apart from my studies. I miss my faithful juniors and my awesome high school teachers. Northern Start High School. What a perfect translated name =P

At some point, I really want to turn back time. I don’t know why but now I feel kinda unhappy. Well, maybe cause im sleepy and reading my blog brings me a few years back in time.

But I know, this is life. Its full of changes and we just gotta go through it. Everyone needs to go through all these things. So do I.

Well, I guess I just wanted to voice a little here, in my blog. I hope, wish and pray that everyone is doing well :)

Till then,
Flammable Junior

Habis SPM

ASSSSSSS- PEE- AMM!

weeeee~ just finish spm yesterday and its such a relieve.. i got like plans the whole time :D just posting a short post.. cause im not in a mood.. tomorrow or smtg la..

A VERY BIG HELLO!

In a blink of an eye, 8 months just went *poof*.. So, what happened today?

Well, I skipped school.. Not exactly skip.. I was too sick to go to school.. Sneezing all day and coughing.. ugh, it sucks when period pain comes along.. Anyway, im happy that i lost more than 2 kg in a day just cuz im sick..

Hopefully, his GOOD friends would stop teasing about me.. haha.. okay.. that's random.. Oh well, I WATCHED STEP UP 3 and its SOOOOOOO aweshomeeeeeee!

You know, I've been visiting ppl's blog these days.. and i start to wonder.. and compare how often I blog last time and now.. I used to blog like 6 times a day.. and now.. one month once? Well, I guess, things REALLY change..

The things I used to blog last time is like so different from now.. i dont know why but everytime I see her in the hallway or walked pass me, I feel like, very very upset.. LIKE ALL OF A SUDDEN, all the memories just hit me.. the good and the bad. Oh well, like Siew Jin said.. *see, i SPACED your name, SIEW JIN..* Life's full of changes, LIVE WITH IT, girl!

:D

im shoooooo happeh for idunnowad reasons.. Well well, trials coming.. and i gotta work my butt off.. SPM, lagi larh! why la.. why la i get sick now.. ish.. well, at least not during trials =D

HOPEFULLY NOT!

I cant wait for prom! :D It'll be such an aweshomeeeee day for me.. prom + birthday = best day of my life! :D nahhhhh.. dun think it'll be the best day of my LIFE.. HOW ABOUT MY MARRIDGE?! haha.. maybe most unforgetttttttttable birthday laaaaa.. =)

oh well, here are some random pictures :)

I miss 4 Beta :(

and i miss this moment too (L)

and definitely miss this piggg too! oink oink!

and lastly, this ♥

tatazzz! =D

Cliff dive and die.

“ Oh gosh! We are so going to try this! Here’s to the dare devils of the century!”
“Yes! Imagine flying through the air. I mean, flying without wings!”

As Siew Jin and Niro jumped for joy, as their adrenaline rush was pumped up within their bodies, I just stood there, watching the consequences flashing at the back of my mind.

“ I think we should just head back and catch a movie instead? I’ll get popcorn! With extra caramel butter, and a bunch of movies. Horror movies? Soppy love stories? Let go!” I said, tugging the both of them to come along with me.

“Boring.” the both of them said as they gave me the long stare. As the early morning, of ominous bank of dark clouds, and thick icy air fills, surrounding the spaces in the sky, Siew Jin and Niro was already all ready and set to go. The three of us reached the peak of the cliff after a few minutes. Siew Jin and Niro stood close to the brink of the cliff and as they looked down, they were fascinated and awed by the breathtaking view and how not many people would want to attempt to try or to make this daring stunt a hobby.

When they were all set again at the peak of the cliff, they jumped. I could hear Siew Jin and Niro screaming with joy as they were in the middle of diving, and their screams were finally drowned by the sound of the splashing of water as they landed at the very bottom of the cliff. Being the cautious coward person I am that day, I felt as if my conscience was trying to tell me that I was right all along. From the far view above the peak of the cliff above, I did not see them resurface from the water. It was just me standing at the peak of the cliff all alone, in the dark morning as the dead silence surrounded me. I should have known better.

***

The clock strikes 10.10am. The hammer of our electric school bell was attracted towards the electromagnet to hit the bell and it rang instantly.

“Thank you, teacher,” our class monitor said as the whole class echoed. The second the teacher walked out of the class, I dashed out of the class and looked for my two best friends from the opposite class.

“Niro! Niro! Siao Jun! Guess what? Guess what?” I called out for them with excitement. They turned to look at me with their raised eyebrows, looking as cool as ever.

“What?” Siew Jin asked with a monotonous voice.
“My parents are going out of town tonight!” I squeaked.
“Oh my god! Are you serious? Mine too!” Siew Jin replied.
“You both wouldn’t believe this cause my parents are too!” Niro interrupted.

After the bell rang for the second time, indicating it was the end of recess, Niro suggested that we should skip the last few periods of school to watch the latest movie, namely, Inception. Everyone in school had watched it except us, so we sneaked out from school and drove to out favourite hangout place, The Pavilion. After the movie, we headed to the arcade and enjoyed ourselves.

“Girls, are you sure it’s okay for us to wear our school uniform and roam around the city?” I trembled.

“ Oh gosh, Sandra! Stop being a coward, who do you think in the entire world, cares?” Niro teased. As we walked out the mall, Siew Jin suggested that we should have a sleepover at Niro’s house and we all agreed.

Siew Jin stepped on her car brake as we reach Niro’s mansion. Once we stepped into her house, Siew Jin and I ran straight to her fridge and took all the food. We brought into her room to eat them and by midnight, her room looked like a dumpsite. Chunks of cookies were across her bed, chocolate sauce was smeared all over her carpet, sweet wrappers covered her table but she did not mind. We surfed the internet and went on youtube to watch some videos. Niro scrolled down the page while saying, “Nope! Nope! Nope!” and then she stopped at a thumbnail video about cliff diving,” Perfect!” she exclaimed while clicking on it with her mouse.

Three of us were excited and thrilled when we watched a video about a group of teenagers who went on a dare to cliff dive. They recorded it down and it seemed so fun, so we wanted to do the same thing to gain popularity and view. Then, we were set. Set to take on the daring challenge. We googled about our town and found a perfect cliff diving site. We hit the sack as soon as we found the exact location of Rocky Beach. It was said to be the best but most dangerous cliff diving site. However, we were not afraid at all but excited for it.

to be continued.... .. .

The last laugh.

Credits to Kristy Chong..

its exactly how i feel =)

First off, I want to say thank you for making me such a significance in your bleak and miserable life. I apologize because I cannot reciprocate your waves of emotions because I lack your mental retardation. Your impossible delusions of power and superiority have made me realize how much of a degenerate you really are. Oh, so you are hating on me? Well, bravo, I say to you with outstanding enthusiasm. I never did realize as somehow, I grew fond of your idiocy that I must say... is spreading like plague. Now, you cannot say I don't understand your hatred for me because I have been pondering about it a lot. Would you look at that?! I was THINKING about where your mental incapacity originated from. Maybe its your unusual blend of proteins and nucleotides in your DNA that makes you particularly vexatious. Perhaps its the impossible amount of pressure on your shoulders from being so insecure. Oh, how I pity. :(

Really, the things I hear you say about me is very amusing. I enjoy being placed on such a high pedestal and be thought of so much. My very presence bothers you! Do I really posses such a powerful aura where merely walking pass you across the halls strikes such a chord in you? Jealousy is a poison, my friend. I don't even need to lift a finger where you, on the other hand, gather your little two-faced companions to waste your breath discussing about how you abhor my ways. So you say I have changed. Have I changed into something better than you? Personally, I don't think I have changed. I still like licking the cream off oreos before eating the cookie. And if you repulse the way I am, why not talk to me? Do I instill such an amount of fear in you?

At the beginning, I have thought of making peace with you. But after much consideration, I realize degenerates like yourself have a mindset of an anus where all you ever will do is give people shit. What would confronting you do? Nothing, I say because you hate me and no matter what I do or say, you will still dislike my ways. So, my efforts will be futile. I have better things to do than care about what you say about me. I understand completely, how bleak your life is now. You just need something to make your day in school a lot more interesting, no? Well, if it does give you such satisfaction because you are just so incompetent like that, I shall not stop you. I am contented with the way I am and I don't need such adolescent, Hannah Montana kind of issues to get me through the day. At least when I dislike something or someone, I am consistent about it and not drift with wind of hypocrisy.

and my favourite line,

You entertain me. To watch your face distort in such a way when I walk pass you in the halls.

I laugh at you.

We're too old to be involve in all these bitchy drama ;)

We shall see who will have the last laugh at the end of the day.

*

btw, to ppl who like not so good wan,

I know the language is a bit tooooo bombastic for you..

just go check the dictionary k?

Maybe it'll help you in your essay for the coming SPM

;)

ps: I'm just being nice =)

I rock till the max! not..

I tend to embarrassed myself all the time..

Today was kinda sucky.. nola.. actually.. its kinda okay.. =P it started with period pains in the morning which i could barely stand it.. during tuition i was dying.. den... the embarrassment started...

Case one: after tuition, u know like Martin tuitions.. after one class, they would ask you to get out of the class faster cause there's a big bunch of ppl waiting downstairs.. so the kakak was like, "cepat cepat cepat.."

and then i was trying to walk very fast but like i felt a little uncomfortable.. when i looked down.. oh.. great.. i looked like a fool.. then i stopped in front of the kakak and change my left slippers back to my left leg and vice versa.. i wore my slippers wrongly.. and the kakak was like laughing at me.. (>.<) that one case one of embarrassing myself.

Case two: Valerie and I were walking near pudu plaza to have lunch.. and suddenly, this super nice sport car came by.. like right beside us.. then i was telling valerie.. "oh.. my husband came to fetch me.." anddddddddddddddddddddddddd the window was kinda open.. (>.<) ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD the wife was right beside him.. to make matters worse, they ate at the same restaurant we did and was sitting the table next to us.. GREAT.

Case three: When we reached the restaurant.. i saw this guy was like smiling and talking to this girl who sit opposite him at the table.. and the guy wore specs.. and immediately.. i thought he was Derek. DEREK CHAN. yeah.. soooooooooo, i was like making stupid movements.. preparing to scare him from the back.. like *BOO!!!!! *shaking his shoulders* HI DEREK!" i was going closer and closer to him.. then the girl keep looking at me.. so i thought like one of his girl friends la.. as in GIRL.FRIEND. or cousin.. when i was about to BOO him.. a man came by and sit between the so-called derek and the girl.. and i was like, "huh? who's that?"

then i realised. .. ..it wasn't derek... T.T the girl kept staring at me.. and valerie was laughingherassoff at me.. T.T again, i embarrassed myself..

oh! such a great day! =P hahahaXD

One and the half.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

*

*

Each heart represent one month.

*
boo. Imma missing you ;(

Can't text you. That sucks.

Can't talk to you in msn. Double sucky.

*

*

18 hearts. 18 months.

enough time for 2 babies to come out.. hahaXD

*

*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

<

100 truths =)

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Honey Lemon with weixing =D
2. Last phone call: Mom. She called me and asked if wx and i were done chatting
3. Last text message: To zhengkang.
4. Last song you listened to: Need you now by the Lady Ante..thing thing.. hahahXD
5. Last time you cried: errrrrrrrr.... early this week i think.. you see my emo posts den you know why.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Nah.
7. Been cheated on: Dont think so =P
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope ;)
9. Lost someone special: Yeah.. ;(
10. Been depressed: Obviously! Who doesnt?
11. Been drunk and threw up: Nope..

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Purple
13. Light pink
14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: Lemme think.. i GUESS SO.. . . dunno..
16. Fallen out of love: Nah
17. Laughed until you cried: DUH!!! ahahhahXD
18. Met someone who changed you: Yeah =)
19. Found out who your true friends were: I find this question hard to answer..
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeap!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: SURE! =D
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them..
23. How many kids do you want?: Er.. dunno wor.. depends? 3 or 4? hahahaXD
24. Do you have any pets: yeahhh.. my golden retriever =P
25. Do you want to change your name: er... i dun think so.. my parents and grandparents give me this name because they like it.. so i should accept it =)
26. What did you do for your last birthday: THIS IS THE BEST QUESTION! hahahahXD had an awesome party with weixing.. hahahaXD
27. What time did you wake up today: 8.45am? cause got tuition (>.<)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Doing addmaths project, chatting and texting..
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: SPM TO BE OVER OVER OVER!!!!!!
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Me not having period pain. It sucks.. really.
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing? ahahhahaXD
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: DUN THINK SO.. .. Jerry also dun have =P
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: No one? hahahaXD imma happy today!
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook facebook and facebook.
36. Whats your real name: Sandra.
37. Nicknames: San, San-da-ra and many many more...
38. Relationship Status: dunno =P
39. Zodiac sign: imma the chicken yo! hahahaXD
40. Male or female?: Female lah.
41. Primary School?: SBU
42. Secondary School?: SBU
43. High school/college?: SBU.. hahaXD nola, jk! DUNNO LAH! not 18 yet..
44. Hair colour: blackkkkkk
45. Long or short: Longgggggg...
46.Height: 160cm around there.. i THINK
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: yeah! ob-piously!
48: What do you like about yourself?: im happy! =D
49. Piercings: each on one ear =P
50. Tattoos: dun wann..
51. Righty or lefty: ? Right. Haha

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: 5 years old..
53. First piercing: 7 years old, i thinkkk..
54. First best friend: Jessy =D
55. First sport you joined: Swimming
56. First vacation: Las Vegas, california.. and somewhere around there.. hahaXD
58. First pair of trainers: -.- Dont know. You think I will go write dwn the date meh?

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: Nope! Later got dinner but just now yumcha with weixing, yum lotsa time ady..
60. Drinking: Same answer gonna be given..
61. I'm about to: Go for dinner!
62. Listening to: Fan rotating sound..
63. Waiting for: Family to get ready for dinner..

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: YEAH.., ofc... i love kids =)
65. Get married? : OFCOURSE!
66. Career: dunno worrrrr (>.<)

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Both
68. Hugs or kisses:Both
69. Shorter or taller: Taller gua.. =P
70. Older or Younger: Younger... Cause I feel old even though I'm not 18 yet! Aha
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms =P
73. Sensitive or loud: LOUD. VERY LOUD.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: NO =.=
77. Drank hard liquor: think so. .. .
78. Lost glasses/contacts: nahhhhh.. im a careful person.. . but BREAK THEM, yes la... hahahXD
79. Sex on first date: wth.. no.. never.
80. Broken someone's heart: YEAH.. DEFINITELY (>.<) hahahaXD to an unknown guy who wanted me to couple with him.. OBVIOUSLY no right?
82. Been arrested: nope =D
83. Turned someone down: Yah..
84. Cried when someone died: Yes.. ofc..
85. Fallen for a friend: Yeah. Hell yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: I do.. but sometimes over confident =(
87. Miracles: Yes! :D If you think it will happen, it will :D
88. Love at first sight: er.. yes.. no.. dunno..
89. Heaven: YEAH! i always go there.. buffet =P nola! jk!
90. Santa Claus: nahhh.. never really did..
91. Kiss on the first date: Nah.. not gonna happen..
92. Angels: Yeaps

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NO. . .. . hahahahXD
95. Did you sing today?: Yeah.. I THINK.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: When i was 5 years old..
98. The moment you would choose to relive?: When i have my period pain =P getting it is like, the process when bella turns into a vampire.. its like HELL.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Nope..
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: If dont post then I spend so much time doing this for what?! hahaXD

A day out =D

WOOOTSSSS! food makes my world go round =D makes my tummy go round.. and my body too.. (>.<)

=D

This morning, i was suppose to for a blood test but.. sadly.. i forgot that i wasnt suppose to consume ANYTHING.. but i took my cough medicine.. ahhahaXD not funny actually.. got scolded by my mom (>.<)

hehe.. after breakfast.. after lunch.. after lazing around, after watching tv,

I went to Sg. Wang today because my mom wanted to get her wool.. for her knitting.. and so i tagged along.. and got myself a pair of sandals.. as mine has grew some long white beard = Old.. HAHA.. anyway.... yeahh..


at first, i tried on this.. but my mom says it looks like during the china china time.. those grandma, grandpa pull the cow in the sawah.. going "mooo mooo" like that.. i was like =.= wtheck.. and she say my toes are like OUTSIDE the shoe.. so she ask me to look for another one.. ahhahahaXD

den i got this! well, i think this is awesome =D cause it matches my shirt that time.. hahaa.. my mom said it looked better.. so i bought it.. =D

and then, we saw this shop.. selling somekind of rubber band.. an EXPENSIVE rubberband.. but its not exactly a rubberband.. and it was so cool.. can tie different ways =D so my mom bought one for me and one for herself =D you'll be amazed by how this band works =P

and finally, when we reached the shop which sells wool, we saw the lady boss knitting a skirt for her customer.. and i was like, "WOW MOM! its so nice!" Then the lady boss ask me to try on it.. and i was like, "hehe..no need la, auntie.. later i scared once i wear, all your thread come off.." then she was like, "dun be silly! if come off, i give you the whole skirt.." hahahXD so, i just tried.. and..

tada! it matched my shoe and shirt =D wooots! me like an angel, yo! hahahaXD nola, joking.. =P anyway, it was kinda sexy.. cause like got holesssss in betweeennnn.. luckily cannot really see through the skirt.. if not, "bye bye, sandra.." hahahahXD

hehe.. i asked my mom to make one for me.. but guess wad.. she said.."maybe for your 21st birthday, i'll knit a set for you.." with the necklace which is knitted, shirt, skirt, maybe shoes! hahahaXD cause like.. she said only the skirt cause RM600 and above.. (>.<).. yeah.. siewjin.. go "WOOOOWWWWWWW..." ahhahahahXD as expensive as my dad's tie.. ahahhaXD *hint hint*

hehe.. anyway, that's all.. buh bye!

ps: im really embarassed with my fb photos that my cousin tagged me.. ahhahhaXD

teeeeeheeeeee!

Words running across my mind.

Did this change everything?

***

my cousin is went back to Singapore.. and now, i'll find no one as crazy as her to camwhore with (>.<)

***

Yesterday was a weird day for me.. or should i say, a weird night..

I've been lying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling for so long,

and I start to wonder,

and notice what's happening around me..

I've never been an emotional person but when it comes to friendships, it just hits me right on my face when i felt like we werent that close anymore.. Well, everyone thinks that my blog is totally dead.. i think no one thinks that i will ever update it.. I've always want to update it but I'm just out of words to describe what is actually happening around me.

Dont misunderstand,yo! nothing has happened.. its just, somekind of self-realisation or whatever you called it.. It's like, everything has changed. I mean, obviously life goes on and blablabla.. but.. i dont know.. i just feel there's like something missing in me..

Sometimes, I just feel like locking up all my friends in one room and make them stay with me forever. But that's impossible right?

Well, it's just as impossible as the quote "best friends forever".

***

How I wish you could fill the space between my fingers now

and tell me that everything will be okay like you always do ;(