Definitely confused....

Today.. was volleyball practice... the ball went over the fence twice. First time was lucky, someone picked up the ball for us but the second time, Kai Sein had to climb over the fence and take the ball. Unfortunately, he was like kind of hut and had so much difficulties getting out.. Kesiann...

At 4.00pm, when most of the students went back.. ade played volleyball with the seniors and I went to grab niro's basketball to play. The whole court was mine.. UNTILLL.... Miow came.... so.. i played with him... Of course, he suck at it... but I sucked more.. :) Then Sheau Hwa FORCE LOw to teman her back...

THEN>>>

The court only tinggal me, Miow, niro,kim, and the volleyball people.. I was playing myself and then i noticed something.. something had occured... The situation was exactly the same like the last 1095 days ago.. VERY much alike... just that mine is hundred times worst.. I dun noe wheather it had change the view of mine towards him... Should I believe her?? Was she telling the truth?? But... it really looked so real... SOO real.. Very Real....

Does it matter if its really the truth??How much do I know him?? Quite a lot... but.. if I am in her shoes.. I would know how it feels cause it happens to me like a thousand of times... But why.... are people like that?? can't they just leave some face for the weak ones?? I am realllyyy caonfused.. wat the...haiz..

Life is a journey... why must we stop at one place for so long??? I know i did that... I know the place I stopped was longer than she ever thought... I realise... I was not moving at all... still frozen.. still stuck.. still not moving.. I really want to.. but its just so difficult.. so.. to the 'HER'.. I noe how it feels... I CAN ASSURE YOU... its not as bad as mine... so.. treasure it.. Ur life is far better than mine... I know u didn't do anything... Neither did I.. maybe I did.. but... there was a reason.. A REALLY BIG one...

oh.my.god. I'm stuck... I can't face HIM OR HER... How can I not trust both of them?? But who I am to trust.. I am equally close to both of them...You're right.. Siew Jin.. Its better not to know... its much much much better not to know... wait.. AM I REGRETTING this??? Maybe.. not cause of HIm or HEr.. its cause I feel like... I dun wan history to repeat... i hate histories... its shown.. i got low marks for it... It's really hurting.. I know... There's no one to blame but YOURSELF>>> YOURSELF... No one but YOURSELF>... and now.. i feel so useless.. maybe I am useless... I'm lying like a dead corpse posting this post... this extra depressing post...




Time told me that
This single day, 28th of April had helped me break this spell
I don't want to be alone
Another boy,
another life,
Give me a happy ending,
and I'll be alive,
Another place,
another time
I hope there's another hand to touch,
another sun to shine,
I'm running around but there's no place to hide
our souls have divided
Why can't they forgive me these demons inside
My heart starts to shiver for I was letting up


no...
it already let up....
goodbye...
goodbye...