arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder why am I not like last time... always happy-go-lucky... How come I feel annoyed, emo, frustrated, sad, irritated sooooooooooooooooo darn fast...... i feel like argh!!! i wanna strangle some one.. be careful as it might be you.... seriously... so ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really wanna vandalise my computer di.... i wanna twist somebody's head off... i wanna get run down by cars.. wanna smack someone.. whack someone.. and slap and punch and kick and bang their heads onto the wall... and ade ... its not because of the post..... anyway... arghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dun ask me why am i like this,.... i mmg like that... i mean now... these days... argh!!!!!!!! hate myself sooo sooo much......!!!!!

and can u guys please go back to time before the idiot damn annoying irritating frustrating thing happen???? seeing both of u like that makes me feel sooo sooo ... i dunno how to explain.. i just dun like when u guys get emo.. and bare in mind that i will be much much more emo that u could ever think of... seriously...

today's post was suppose to be a happy post wher i tell all my stuff during PJ and how me...sheau hwa.. low have fun while learning basketball from adeline the pro... we were laughing like shit the whole PJ time and it was so damn fun... reallly wanna elaborate more.... especially how sheau hwa talks stupid stuff during PJ time.... this post was suppose to be a happy fun non-irritating, non-emo, non- annoying post.... and and its ruin... again... by emo stuff.... arghh!!!!!

anyway.. gtg tuiton.. kacau!!!! argh!!! and still have to do the annoying KGT!!!! life is such an annoying thing... for now... argh.!!!!!! i wanna jump from the building mannnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and eventhough u guys okay already.. IF u guys okay but still i am gonna be like that for awhile cause i am so.. so.. ugh! i dunno larh!! ish!!!! arghhhhhhh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being happyyyy...:)

I've figured out wat ade said.. if i wanna let go.. i must be happy.. if i am sad... it means I hadn't let go... same goes to all of u out there... if U are sad when u let go.. ITS NOT CALL LETTING GO... so if u wanna let go.. make sure u be happyy!!!!!!

and sorry to ppl I ate lunch with which were pui yi.. Andreana.. Ashley.. Adeline.. Samantha.. Sheau Hwa.. and Niro.. for leaving the table just like that and came back like an idiot and an empty bottle.. I was kinda emo that time.. and u noe.. when i get emo.. i mmg like that wan.. so.. forgive my idiot-ness..

and to 'dad'... make sure u keep your promise... I'll wait.. and watch:) and maybe.. laugh:D haha...

oh.. and my cousin gave birth... so coolll... another baby to play.. and another niece.. haha:)

Definitely confused....

Today.. was volleyball practice... the ball went over the fence twice. First time was lucky, someone picked up the ball for us but the second time, Kai Sein had to climb over the fence and take the ball. Unfortunately, he was like kind of hut and had so much difficulties getting out.. Kesiann...

At 4.00pm, when most of the students went back.. ade played volleyball with the seniors and I went to grab niro's basketball to play. The whole court was mine.. UNTILLL.... Miow came.... so.. i played with him... Of course, he suck at it... but I sucked more.. :) Then Sheau Hwa FORCE LOw to teman her back...

THEN>>>

The court only tinggal me, Miow, niro,kim, and the volleyball people.. I was playing myself and then i noticed something.. something had occured... The situation was exactly the same like the last 1095 days ago.. VERY much alike... just that mine is hundred times worst.. I dun noe wheather it had change the view of mine towards him... Should I believe her?? Was she telling the truth?? But... it really looked so real... SOO real.. Very Real....

Does it matter if its really the truth??How much do I know him?? Quite a lot... but.. if I am in her shoes.. I would know how it feels cause it happens to me like a thousand of times... But why.... are people like that?? can't they just leave some face for the weak ones?? I am realllyyy caonfused.. wat the...haiz..

Life is a journey... why must we stop at one place for so long??? I know i did that... I know the place I stopped was longer than she ever thought... I realise... I was not moving at all... still frozen.. still stuck.. still not moving.. I really want to.. but its just so difficult.. so.. to the 'HER'.. I noe how it feels... I CAN ASSURE YOU... its not as bad as mine... so.. treasure it.. Ur life is far better than mine... I know u didn't do anything... Neither did I.. maybe I did.. but... there was a reason.. A REALLY BIG one...

oh.my.god. I'm stuck... I can't face HIM OR HER... How can I not trust both of them?? But who I am to trust.. I am equally close to both of them...You're right.. Siew Jin.. Its better not to know... its much much much better not to know... wait.. AM I REGRETTING this??? Maybe.. not cause of HIm or HEr.. its cause I feel like... I dun wan history to repeat... i hate histories... its shown.. i got low marks for it... It's really hurting.. I know... There's no one to blame but YOURSELF>>> YOURSELF... No one but YOURSELF>... and now.. i feel so useless.. maybe I am useless... I'm lying like a dead corpse posting this post... this extra depressing post...




Time told me that
This single day, 28th of April had helped me break this spell
I don't want to be alone
Another boy,
another life,
Give me a happy ending,
and I'll be alive,
Another place,
another time
I hope there's another hand to touch,
another sun to shine,
I'm running around but there's no place to hide
our souls have divided
Why can't they forgive me these demons inside
My heart starts to shiver for I was letting up


no...
it already let up....
goodbye...
goodbye...

Saturday and Sunday....

Yesterday.. was so tiring.... woke up early morning.. adeline came and then i told her some REALLYY GOOD ideas about Siew Jin's bdae plan... hehe...then we have to have BM tution then went for state comp... after watching our school's turn.. we went to have Mc Donald's in Petaling Street there.. it was so scary... only 4 of us.. Adeline... Sheau Hwa.. Low.. and me... and then we saw an AND1 shop... Ade wanted to go in.. so we teman-ed her... the basketball stuff was so much cheaper than outside... and then we went to had lunch.

and then... today.. have to wake up at about 7.45 to wait for adeline to come... then we were like oh shit...!! siew jin's bdae.. then we quickly call her.. but... she was still sleeping... ish.. then she called us back then we were like shouting happy bdae to her.. and then.. we went for badminton... so so tiring mann.... and then we came back and talk to 'dad' for almost 50 minutes... adeline was screaming for her credit.. haha.. and then i went for piano class... then i came back.. here i am.. and i need to go for tution later at 5.00pm... ugh.. so..so.. tired...

go on9.. 'mom' and 'dad' oso not on9.. ish.... sooo boringg... haizz... okay.. that's all.. i think.. have to go for tution di.. ciaoz..

HELP!!! SOS!! HELP!!

'daddy'... 'mummy'... help me... mann.. wat shud i say... pls...pls.. help me...

sorryyyy Siew Jin!!!!!!!!!

Siew Jin..
ur wish is granted...
sorry..
siew jin for making ur hand burnt by the pemateri...
u love me so much that's y i must apologise THROUGH my post...
-_-"
anyway..

sorryyy.... :)

one of the worst day in my life..

wow! i survive... for not eating for 24 hours... haha... all thanks to my 'dad'... haha... and my stupid handphone which spoiled.. and then I fixed it back... luckily!! it worked... or not i will be yelling like a mad woman... eventhough i am already one but i will be extra mad.... ish... so annoying...

anyway... as usual... Ade didn't came today... chess.. haizz... this morning.. i came VERY early..i was like the first form 3 to arrive... cause my mom fetched... and then Derrick came second... and he was like helping me to finish my fun homework... and he kept saying 'SOS' to Renny... i was like huh? wat 'SOS'... and later did I noe... he meant Samantha Or Sandra?.... i was like wat the... I.FEEL.LIKE.STRANGLING.HIM!!!!! arghh....

then later recess.. Siew Jin and me wanted to go and photostat some Geo stuff.. and then I went to the library.. there was no photostat machine.. then i went to the bookshop... the photostat machine baru rosak... i feel like screaming mann....after emo-ing for fully 24 hours... without eating.. i recover..

and then... later i was so hyper with siew jin... and then laughing all the way.. (told u I was madd...)and then i was so happyyy with my BM marks.. (i'm not bragging)but.. but.. i was reallly happy...:):)

BUT... one thing.. i REALLY dun understand why nowadays guys are so kecil hati... first my 'dad'..not MY dad.. but my 'dad'... then.. edward.. then.. Luqman.. haih... I was like so pissed off.... then i was like asking why are guys like that... niro was like saying.. egoness...sandra.. egoness...

haih... i can't imagine a thing like this happen... overall... it was a really bad day...

photos..photos...

at last... Siew Jin finally send all the pictures we took during we went to KL Library... haha... here's some of them...

I'm really sorryy...

i am really sorry..
please dun be mad at me..
i really didn't mean to...
i really didn't think u wud take it seriously...
i really didn't think any of it..
i promise not to tease u anymore...
u can tease me..
i wun scold u..
nor punch u...
u win everything..
i know u say u are okay..
but i noe..
u're not...
i can't forgive myself..
i noe u are not angry anymore...

but...

haizz..
i just wanna say..
i'm really sorry..
okay??

foodsaleee!!

okay.. today.. we had a foodsale...actually there was nothing to do with me.. but since siew jin ask me to bake 4 cakes.. and that's wat i did and i helped to sell it... the foodsale's business was very good... yesterday and today also... we almost finished everything except a few cups of pudding that Emily made.. so we ate it ourselves.. and then i made another small special cake topped with hershey chocolate... like the whole thing is chocolate.. everyone in the Bilik Masakan was enjoying it... except adeline.. who didn't come.. wat a waste.. it was so delicious.. haha..

we were all exhausted after the foodsale... and luckily we went back early.. then i get to sleeeepppp... :):)

there is like tons of homework.. but luckily i goe to finish school's homework.. and now.. tution homework... ahhhhhh.... so many homework!!! argh.. i think i better start from now... ta-ta!

WEDNESDAY....

great..... today was so 'GREAT'... i wore contact lens... because of st. john kawad... and.. and.. the stupid a_ _ff was like laughing like a mad woman.. i was like wat the hell.... andd then i helped with the food sale... it was successful... i was soo happy... and then.. we had st.john... we went to the kompleks... and i got so much mud on my pants and and my shoe and socks is all wet.. so uncomfortable... stupid low go laugh like crazy ppl... but in the end she got wet also.. hahaha!!

and then we had the treasure hunt thingy... the first place we went was the basketball court... saw Miow... and then we did bad in the task there... and then saw adeline and stuff.. when we were dismiss.. i was sooo tired already... then i was like where is my mum.. at last when i call her... she was like..oops... forgotten.. i was like wat the helll... and then like a group of malay girls.. were suddenly rounding me up.. i was like u are u... then they were like crazy mann... they were from SBS.. and they were crapping... i so wanted to scream for Muzi cause he was near there... so scary man... then i was like so confused by wat they say... it was sooo scary... i tell u... u feel like running away.. luckily.. they went away after that... i was like huh? like dunno wat to say ady...then i was saved by my mom hu came at the right time... thank god...

but i dunno..why i so tak bersemangat... so... emo... really dunno.. so if i said anithing during my emo time... dun listen cause i dunno wat i said.. okay?? especially to the 2 ppl who's name started with and A... hu i talk to during on9
just now.. okay?

volleyyyyballl practice!!!

yesterday... got volleyball... and then the ariff was disturbing me non-stop.. soo annnooyyyiiinnggg u noe... but i so good... of course forgive small kids laa... ^_-... and then Gaik Xuang teached us how to serve.... and today... my hand... pain like shit oni... and with the kacau-ness ariff gave me... i think all the volleyball club members thought i was crazy...i was like so..so... geram... but as i say... small kids... then i was like.. i feel like strangling u... then he say.. strangle la... then i saw and realise he so sweaty.. then i change my mind... and i said i hit u arr... then he said hit la... then without doubt i punch his arm.. then he turned around.. then turn back to me and say... did u do something to me? i was thinking in my mind... not pain arr???? then he continued with his basketball... then only later he told ade i punched like a man... i was like hahaha... then he ask me did i eat steroid.. i was like noo..... haha...

end of story

and ishh... i did not waste ur credit..ariff... u are the one hu asked me questions...kay... i noe ur credit drop untill rm0.19.. but my credit rose to rm100 over di... thanks to u too.... -_-...

Pinky...pinky..pinky..

so.. today.. pinky visited me... we went to have so coffee in Old Town White Coffee near my house there... we were like taing about the cheaters in my class... and she was disgusted by all these people.... she shud be...

and then i ask her to go to Brisbane a.k.a. Gold Coast with me at the end of the year.... then she look at her mom then ask her... her mom say decide later la... then suddenly my mom said that she was going to US for ppl's wedding in september... and pinky mom say they are going to vencouver... then she say can ask me to follow... my mom say.. oklah..can la.my dad oso say okay la.then pinky's mom say we can meet my mom in vencouver... then me and pinky can go skiing... i was like soooooooooooo excited.... she say after PMR which is on 17 october... on that particular night we wud fly straight to vencouver .... so chun-ness mann.....so so so happppyy mannnnn.. cant wait for PMR to end.. haha

i loveeee pigggyyyy.....haha :):):):)<3<3

Saturday!!!!

at last.... exam finished.. but another exam is coming in two weeks... ugh... so annoying la..... y must we have soooo many exams...

pinky visited me... haha.. to take some KKS stuff... eventhough its only a short while... but i missed herr sooo much that i hug her for sooo long..haha.. dun worry she gonna visit me.. maybe tommorow again.. cause to give me back MY KKS stuff...

today.. saturday..as usual... adeline and i went for badminton..... so so tired.. then we had KFC... then we bath my dogg... but ending bringing my dog to the hospital... haih... kesian my doggie... anyway... then we had our BM tuition.. and then we like laughing all the time... very noisy... oh..ya... and after BM class... i on the computer.. wanted to on9... then i said my password aloud when i signed in.. forgetting that was an important thing in front of adeline... she was like *0*... haha... then she forget... but i am sure she remebered.. nevermind laa... let her hack.. but i noe she wont... cause she is A FRIEND>... friends wont do that kind of thing..rite?

whole week has been studying...studying and studying... untill like midnight... anyway.. cheaters... in class.. during exam.. do u believe it??? in MY CLASS??? 3B? i think SOME of their mentality are just the same with every other idiots out there... don't they noe how to spell the word HONESTY??? well... to someone hu cheated... this is how u spell H-O-N-E-S-T-Y-... HONESTY.. this is not that kind of small type of cheat ya noe.. some ppl even ask like 20 questions... like.. how on earth they could do that mann... telling teacher is useless.. they will ask us to leave the cheaters alone.. but as SIEW JIN has said.. hu ever hu is gonna cheat the next time... u are gonna get it FROM HER... i tell u.. when she gets serious... even encik Rashid oso dare not say anything... haha.. he just smiles... and that's y me and adeline kept laughing and siew jin gave us THE glare and we shut-ed up.. haha.. but anyway.. siew jin.. if u are reading this.. chilll and i hereby to wish u

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY SIEW JIN.... :):):):)