Concertos.

Hello! Just a quick update to tell you guys that I'm ALIVE :)

Firstly, I would like to update about the #ReachOut iM4U concert. I won VIP tickets from Fly.fm. To think of it, I don't even know how I won it. I was in the car, and I heard the radio that they are giving out 5 VIP tickets so I tried my luck and called. AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, I GOT THROUGH AND WON IT :D

People keep asking how I win all these things. LIKE I KNOW HOW TO ANSWER YOU GUYS =.= luck, I guess. I mean, my luck in everything else isn't so good huh? Life. Love. Health. Etc. 

But honestly, I would rather have luck on the other things that I mentioned than winning the tickets. Not that I'm boasting that I won the tickets but, ugh, DON'T JUDGE ME. Unless you really know me. And you know what I've been through AND going through. 

Anyway, pichas for #ReachOut concert! We got lost on the way Taylor's Lakeside Campus. I think we took 2 hours instead of 15 minutes drive. ROUND AND ROUND in Kesas Highway. Paid a total of Rm57294083 for the tolls and when we finally reached, 

HEH. John was hesitating whether to park on the VIP lot or not. BUT HE DROVE AWAY AFTER PARKING CAUSE HE WAS AFRAID THAT HIS CAR WILL GET CLAMPED :D HAHA

NO IDEA WHO THIS WAS. The emcee I THINK.

Tonnes of people BUT,

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 VIP ZONEEEE! :D SEE HOW CHILL EVERYONE IS AT THE VIP ZONE? hahaha. Okay, I guess everyone is wondering why is my brother there. Because no one wanted my tickets :'( HAHA. jk. everyone wasnt free so..... OH WELL. He was just there for awhile and went to Starbucks to sit for the entire day with the VIP pass on =.=

I larve her :D

 Tien Soong always looking awkward :P

OMGOMGOMG you know who this is???? :P The girl from UNFOLD :P

Random metal band. Noisy like shit.

Pretty ladies :P HAHAH

  

Goofing around with mah brother's gf :P

Forgive me, I had no earplugs.

Random people going crazy.

:O

 We were going crazy as well :D

K TOWN CLAN, I THINK.

Someone stepped on my Caramel Frappe and I'm pissed :(

  Puffer fish ALERT :P

 Took this when he was busy playing Candy Crush :P

wait, i think THIS is K town clan..................................

 Me: TAKE A PICTURE! :D

John: NO. *fixes hair*

e-diot.

 Tien Soong looking cool while I munch on my waffle! :D

 ***

 So, my cousin from Singapore came back to Malaysia to visit my very sick grandmother. And, so happened, her favourite K-poppers aka 2NE1 was here giving a free concert thanks to Twin Tower@live 2013. So, I accompanied her T.T

We were under the hot sun and under the rain. We were soaking wet and dried up and everything. =.= UGH. I WOULDNT DO THAT FOR SOME STRANGERS. Yes, I don't know 2NE1 except for their,"NEH GAH CHEHHHH CHA LA GAHHHHHH!"

Anyway, these are the photos!

BEFORE THE CONCERT! :D

We were a little crazy in front of my MacBook. HAHA.

 Tsk Tsk, that guy, TOO HANDSOMEEEEEE :3

 OH MAH GODDDD!

 We were crazy.

 So I took my cousin's lens-less glasses and attempted to look like those KAWAII JAPANESE GIRLS.

I VOMITED AFTER TAKING THE PHOTO. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

I'm sorry if you vomited too. *hands you a paper bag* but my eyes really look damn big SIAAAAA..

This looks better huh? :)

 Waiting under the sun with my cute umbrella :D

 Can you believe that we took this photo under the drizzle, with people pushing us and everything. HAHA..

ugh. the amount of people around us SUFFOCATED ME TILL I ALMOST DIED.

Random photo that wasnt suppose to be here but I dont know why it popped out.

 Weeeeee! I personally like Mizz Nina but.. I hate the fact that she lips sing ALL THE TIME :(

OH AND 2NE1 WAS SO AWESOMEEEEEEE. Especially during the,"NEH GAH CHEH CHA LA GAAAAAHHHH!"

 The sea of humans. This is considered okay. And mind you, we are at the middle. So imagine there's more than this BEHIND ME.. 

Anyways, tata humans :D

Gotta rush my assignment :D

<3 p="" you="">

Thank you.

I woke up feeling like shit. I looked at myself in the mirror and its all puffy and swollen. I can't even open my eyes properly, like seriously. It looked like this ->  -.-

The whole day I just didn't have any mood for anything. I was so tired. Physically and emotionally. Can you imagine, I just fainted while being awake in front of my laptop when I was doing my work in the library.. I was so tired but I can't fall asleep. It's like there's so many people talking in my head at once. Man, it was really torturing.

But I guess most of my friends, namely, you guys who are reading my blog, really gave me strength in your words. I don't expect anything from you guys but as soon as you guys finish reading my posts, some of you approached me and say some things that doesn't actually mean anything to other people, but to me, it is REALLY REALLY MUCH APPRECIATED.

It's like, I feel at least, I have someone's shoulders to rest my head just for a little while.

Don't know how much tears I cried last night but one thing I know is, I'm grateful to have you guys as friends :')

I know, there's nothing I can do. Seeing my mother, losing her appetite and her eyes are just as swollen as mine, all I can do is keep a smile on my face and motivate her as well. Just like what you guys did for me. She really looked so stressed up and she told me if one day, something like this happen to her, she asked me to let her go. I tried to make jokes out of it and she told me after she had a good laugh, she feels much better. I keep telling her about my college and my friends and my funny lecturers, its good to see her feel better. I can't be doing anything so the last thing I can do is to make people around me happy.

I went to visit my grandma right after college, as usual. I finished at 7pm today so by the time I reached the hospital, it was already 8pm.. She looked like she was in great pain. When I went close to her, she was surprised that I came to visit her because she thought it was late and I won't visit her already. I touched her very fragile hands, it's so fragile. I held it, and I just want to hold on to it. Her hands are so delicate and soft. I complimented her and said that I am not as pretty and gorgeous as her because my hands are so rough. She chuckled :) I said alot of things that lifted up the dull atmosphere where patients in the room are fighting for their lives on multiple tubes and blood transfusion. Although.. deep inside, I'm dyingg.. my heart feels like a wet T-shirt being twisted till it's dry.

But when I see everyone smile because of my lame jokes and compliments, I feel much better too.

But anyway, what I want to say is, thank you, everyone who took the effort and time to comfort me :)

And also to my college mates, they are all so nice to make me laugh no matter how tired and upset I am. At this point, I feel like, the world is just going to be a better place if everyone is this nice. There shouldn't be anymore arguments, anger, fights.. Like, just forgive and.. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is, every minute you are sad or angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

My friends are right. It really depends on how you want to face it.

It is difficult. Nobody said it was easy. Nobody.

I'm trying to pull myself together and face this bravely. As much as I am not ready for this, like what my header says, "Life goes on."

Thank you, again, friends.

So, tell me, how to hold on?

Tonight, I need to blog.

I haven't been blogging for almost a month just cause I'm really really too busy. I never never thought being in a music college would be so busy. I've been working really really hard just so that I have no time to think about unhappy things.

But things don't go well.. things ALWAYS don't go well.

I just feel like I need to breakdown and cry.

It's like I'm really really tired. I wake up early and go to college and I just study and study and practice and practice and do assignments and do assignments and crashed everytime I lie on my bed. It's like I don't have time at all.

And just when I thought its not that bad just cause I could forget about things I don't want to think so that I won't be emo.

Deep inside I'm already unhappy because there are some things that can't be forgotten just like that. It's like, yes, I can open up to my friends but so what after that? A problem shared IS NOT a problem halved. No matter how much I share, it WON'T be halved.

About you, I can just brush it off my mind by torturing my body to work as hard as I could.

But yesterday, I received a very very bad news.

My grandmother is diagnosed with liver cancer. And she doesn't know it. Now everyday I wake up early to go to college and come back through bad traffic jams then I have to rush to the hospital just to see her. I'm so afraid. That each day passes, means its one day lesser to see her. Although she still looks okay but I know and we all know that her body is slowly deteriorating. She haven't been eating for a few months. Every time I meet her in the hospital, I see this old lady who is so eager to get out of the hospital because she thought what she has is a normal bacteria attack. Every time we give some suggestions, she would say,"aiyo, its okay, i'm probably getting out of the hospital tomorrow."

What she doesn't know is she might spend the rest of her days there.

It's terrible. The feeling is horrible.

It's like, you know she is having high hopes.. and you know that she will.. ..

Actually, I already have to accept the fact that humans live for a period and will leave one day. Of course I know that. But, the feeling.. that you know a person you love so dearly.. is going to leave you. And you know it might be anytime. That feeling, that tells you, that you won't be seeing that person anymore in your life. For the rest of your life.

In breakups, at least you can catch up that person and take a little peek at the their Facebook, and you know when they are healthy and happy, it just makes you happy too.

BUT THIS, I'm very very bad at dealing with changes. Drastic changes. People who leave me. Death, perhaps? It might be too soon to talk about this but you know it will come one day. And you can never avoid it. No one can.

The feeling when I knock on my mother's room door and she opened it while sobbing. It's god damn painful.

My heart felt like it was twisted and burnt.

Like, there's nothing you could do.
Nothing you could say.

Then, how?

All I can do is just cry as well. And then? What's next?

Quick Update :P

Hello! Just a quick update :D

to say im not dead :P

Sorry for not blogging for so many days because I've been so busy enjoying Chinese New Year holidays :D I feel so happy but errr.. yeah :D and tired :]

oh well, there's gonna be lotsa updates coming in but for now, I GOTTA GO PRACTICE MY PIANO T.T gahh. It's like that being in a music college D:

I'M STARTING COLLEGE TOMORROW :(

imsotired.

anyways, toodles! :) see you guys in a bit :DD

ps: ignore my previous emo post below :)

Disappointment.

Trust.

Loyalty.

Love.

3 things that I will never believe in anymore.

Why every single time I trust someone, they have to let me down? I felt used. Again. 

I felt like as if I don't worth anything.

How could you people be so mean?

How could you people stand lying to someone who trust you without a doubt?

Someone who is ALWAYS the first to help you in anything and lift you up whenever you're down.

Someone for you to open up to whenever you have problems.

Someone who doesn't even THINK whether to be there for you or not.

And you can just crushed that person's heart as if only your heart matters the most.

It's like, you people think I don't have feelings. 

And only YOU PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS. AND I HAVE TO STAND ALL THESE BULLSHITS FROM ALL OF YOU. LIKE, AM I BORN TO BE HURT BY YOU?

Every single one of you are the cause of my misery.

Worst of all, you're not sorry.

Happy now?

CNY Annual Company Dinner.

Sorry for not updating for a few days. I was lazy and busy at the same time.

Weekends are the busiest time of the week for me :(

Not cool.

I'll just blog about one event today and I shall blog about other stuff that I did during the weekend  another day because this post is going to be kinda long.

Plus, I'm really tired and not in the mood these days. 

So many things to do, so little time :( 

And everything is just against what I want it to be.

Yes, I know. You want to say,"that's life, isnt it? Just try harder?"

But how many times will it take for me to get things right?

ugh. Forgive me. I'm just.. bleh. D:

 ***

Anyways, back to the main topic, I had my family's company dinner last night and we had it in Oriental Viva which is located in Viva Home Mall and the dinner was marvellous! :D IT WAS SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD! Like, each and every dish was beyond awesome :D You guys should really go and CEKIDAUTTTTTTTT (check it out). Well, thanks to Digi for introducing me this word =.=

So, the first dish, as always, YEE SANGGGGG!!!

 Doesn't it look good? Most importantly, their salmon is freshhhhh! :D

Yee Sang is where everyone mix the strips of vegetables together and make wishes and toasts :)
 And when everyone is just shouting out their wishes, I quietly whispered,"I wish for a happy cheerful life :) " Cause it seems its a difficult to be happy nowadays D:

So, I presume you know who this is? :D

Mandy Mandaaaa! :D

Some braised soup :)

Individual abalones on tofu with broccoli and fungus!

yummmm to the meh!

everyone was busy taking photos before eating.. HAHAHAH!

Just a random picture of my niece playing with my Ipad which is catered for children =.=

Fried fish with orange and thai sauce and stuff like that.. Not sure what is it but its awesome!

My cousie and her boyfie :D

Awesome couple! :D

HEHE. Love my twin brother! ;)

ANDY! ANDY! ANDY! :DD

Vegetables served on dragonfruit shells. 

Makes me wonder where is the dragon fruit :P

I'm so jelly cause she's so pretty :(

My aunt, cousie and I. My aunt kept convincing us that she is as young as us.. ahahhaha :P

So cute of her :3

Women camwhoring :P

ahahahah

Poor piggie :(

I'm only interested with the glutinous rice under it :P HAHAHA

see what I mean? :D

My cutie eldest brother :D

And its the maximum he can smile :P

Mama and Dada :D

The best man I've ever met in my entire life, daddy :)

my niece :D shoo adorable! I forced her to smile :P

ahhh, dessert :)

My "cool" cousin =.= I barely see him smile =.=

My cousin sisters said they felt like a lamp post in a couple's picture XD HAHAHA

My cousin sister and I :D

And I felt like Andy and I were the lamp post instead of them! AHHAHAHA..

Isn't my twin brother sweet? haha :P

Cousin sister and my brother :D

They were acting cute! HAHAHA :P

My brother and his gf :3

Oh well, I tried to summarise the event already.. Haha..

Hope you enjoy reading, readers :)

Just ignore my tiny weeny bit of emoness at the start of the post :)

tata!

Ps: I was forced to publish this post urgently D:

PPS: HI REMA :D

Just a little reminiscence.

Morning, lovelies!

(its 12.13am.. So yeah, morning!)

Sorry for not blogging yesterday.. I had headache for the whole day and I wasn't feeling very well :(

All cause of me walking under the sun.

I'm not giving the princess attitude but if I walk under the sun, I WILL get a very very bad headache. It actually runs in my genes cause my mom and brother encounter this very often too :(

And the headache prolongs till the next day D:

Anyway, there was nothing much that happened yesterday cause I was like, 

THIS, the whole day D:

But anyways, today was not a productive day either because I was still having the headache. AND I went for a full body massage :P where they seriously concentrated on my head because they say they could feel the headache, apparently. And they said like there's lotsa wind in my head which I was wondering where I got the wind from.

AND of course, my aunt and mom was nagging me about not drying my SUPERDUPERLONG hair properly all the time :P

heh. 

and I had to just get my bubble milk tea without the pearls which makes it a regular milk tea =.= 

I'm abit over the moon about myself so just ignore :D

A chipmunk version of me. HAHAHA.

Share Tea is actually not bad :D

1st of February really reminds me alot of things. Really.

A lot of high school memories.

10 hours of St. John Ambulance's duty and all.

It feels like it was just yesterday we saw those people cutting a HUGE net filled with balloons and we were just staring at the balloons like it represents our hopes.

The smile.. .. hmm.

Anyways, last but not least, I had been living with this quote at the back of my head.

:) Love ya'll!

Are you kidding me?!

Greetings, loved ones!

FAN GIRL ALERTTTTTT!!!!! 

yes, this is on my repeat button :D 

I REALLY LOVE KURT'S ARRANGEMENT 

AND SAM TSUI.

AND EVERYONE'S VOICE.

you CANT NOT dance along to the song :P

heh. BACK TO BUSINESS, I reached uni super early today because we had to hand in assignments anddddd, I was suppose to revise some Music Tech and MIDI system notes BUT, I ended up chatting away with Shereen because she is SO INTERESTED in my past =.= haha.. So, you know, girls :D

Had Music Tech class and I was just like, QUESTION MARK ALL OVER MY FACE. Music is NOT as easy as you think, peepies! :D

So, we had lunch and my girls and I were just laughing away at everything :D Next, we had Music Theory class and I almost fall asleep. LIKE REALLY. I was yawning away because we were singing scales and everything. AND I discovered alot of things I didn't know about solfege. Haha, people who are not musically-inclined will think I'm talking Korean.

ANYANGHAESAEYOOOOOOOOOOO :P (ignore my spelling)

I said that to my dad and he was like,"why was sai lo(small brother) and not dai lo(big brother)?"

he's just lame -.- BUT I LOVE HIM :D

ANYWAYYYYY, after Music Theory I had Private Instruction. Private Instruction is like, a private. instruction. hahaha.. My private tutor is really pretty :D yes, she's a fine lady who just came back from US after living more than half of her life there. Anyway, before PI, I went to a random practice room to practice my piano.. There's like a floor in ICOM which is divided into like.. 40 practice rooms? I think.. There are special rooms for piano students, guitar students, violin students, bass, drums, vocal and etc.

So, PI is kinda scary cause my lecturer teaches me both Music Theory and Private Instruction but today she seems not so strict :P heh.

In between class, some of my classmates were singing this Lion King song without noticing that I was recording them and it was SUPER FUNNY! Watch it! :D 

To be honest, they are really good but they were just fooling around. hahaha.. I can keep watching and laugh over it again and again. AND AGAIN. HAHAHAHA.

They're cool :D

After class, I called my mom and ask her where she is. She told me she was in Pavilion doing facial. And i was like, whaaaaat. And she ask me to take a taxi to Pavilion. AND SO, I DID.

I walked like 300m, cross over a pedestrian bridge under the scorching sun with my super heavy laptop bag carried over my shoulders, files on my right hand and a paper bag on my left, TO THE TAXI STAND. AND THERE WAS NO DAMN TAXI WHO WAS GONNA STOP FOR ME.

=.=

After like 10 thousand years, a taxi finally stopped and damn, it was jam =.= Seriously, my uni should be just 10- 15 minutes away from Pavilion and I was charged 10 bucks because of the jam.

and boy oh boy, I walked around the WHOLE DAMN PAVILION to find the mac store so that I can get a cover for my MacBook but when i found it, they only had one colour =.=

I REFUSEEED to buy :P hehe.

OH, and talking about the parking, my mom parked at the idunnowhere and shealsodunnowhere. We were at ground floor but because she dont know where exactly she parked, she went up to 5th floor where she came from and WALKED THE WHOLE PAVILION to find the elevator she took =.=

Aiyoooo, Im sooooo tired BUT happy because one of my classes tomorrow is cancelled. YAY! BUT sad because its one of my favourite class which is Performance Lab and we usually just jam before the lecturer comes :P hehe.

Neways, till tomorrow! BYE :D

Makes no sense.

Hell-o! :)

Just got back from uni. Nyeh. Stupid assignments :( It's like, never ending D:

I'm actually suppose to stay outside, which is nearer to my uni but like, my dad is making a big fuss out of it saying that its not safe and all but like, I really wanna try to stay myself and you know, learn to be independent. BUT, its like they are so worried about me. I was actually ready to move in to my new apartment when suddenly my housemate said she wanna stop her course and go back to Singapore (cause she's from Singapore) and so, we all moved out because the rent was super expensive. The apartment was about Rm2400 which is ALOT. Although it is fully furnished but, its not like we're staying there everyday and so, we were thinking, if she move out, we can't really afford it so all of us moved out. Now, we found a new apartment and my parents is like.. meh. Better not. 

WHICH, makes me a little unhappy because I really hate travelling through the indescribable jam ALTHOUGH its not that far. Btw, my uni is in Sentul. Yes, I know, its near but its SUPER JAMMM and it makes me headache everytime I come back from uni.

AND, to prove that, I AM having a headache now :(

This was just now's lunch. It looks good. It actually tastes good but my mom asked me not to eat it after having a bite because she said the burger wasn't so fresh and it could hurt my kidney D:

***

Anyways, I didn't really do much yesterday. I brought my colleague to the warehouse sale but it was the last day so the clothes was sorta just mehhhhh. In case, if you dont know what is "meh.".. I.. actually dont really know too. But like, it just means somethinggggggg. Like, "lol." Eventhough "lol" means laugh out loud, but some people said "lol" like an "oh." 

But anyway, this is me and colleague having brunch in a Japanese restaurant in Old Klang Road. I don't know what is the name of the restaurant but it seems really famous cause it was FULLHOUSE and people were lining up for it.. I didn't take notice of the name because I wasn't in a good mood D:

 This is some prawn roll with fish roe :)

The salmon teriyaki. Just by eating the salmon, I was bloated cause there were 2 LARGE sized salmon fillet. Barely ate any rice. Plus, I didn't really have appetite which is kindaaaaa rare.

Random picture.

Say HI to this pretty lady :)

Well, you can already notice that my smile isn't really a smile.

Like, whaaaaat? I don't understand why they must SPECIALIZE in pomeranians.

Oh, this was when I was talking to Thush, my high school senior and it was like, pot calling kettle black. HE CALLED ME FAT D: until I told him why I suddenly gained so much weight because of my health problems then he was apologising :P

AND SCOLDING ME FOR NOT TELLING HIM EARLIER.

 Okay, this is just a dumb picture that I wanted to see how much I can smile yesterday. Oh well, no one can understand what this means except one specific person.

This is just a random picture the view outside my house. Took the picture from my window. It's just weird how things can be so beautiful yet ugly.

Oh well, I'm not making any sense right now.

Heh. Sorry. I sorta lost my senses :)

Neways, tata!

ps: I miss Alex D: