Feeling-less

today, pui yi and me had a conversation in the science lab..... well.... she asked me wheather did i feel anything during assembly when the probates were coming out from the bilik serba with the probate tag pinned above their school badge.....

i took awhile before answering her question..... after that, i told her... "yes, i did feel something, something that its not explainable, i mean, i'm sure you felt it too, right?"

then she replied," yes, i felt it too, but i know it wont last long, its only for awhile for me, because i felt it before..."

and i said," yeah, but eventhough i didnt felt the dissapointment before, but i dont think i will mind a lot about it...... i mean, if i be, then be larh... but if i dont, i dont mind......"

................akward silence occur...............

well, seriously, honestly, i.dont.mind....... but... its quite difficult when people come shouting and saying,"eh, Sandra! why? you are not probate meh??? i thought you are? how come arrrhh???"

yeah, i will reply saying that i am not chosen this and that WITH A SMILE.... A BROAD ONE, but, i still feel the sting.... i mean, not cause i didnt get, its cause how they asked.... and, the amount of people asked..... its like everyone i meet... but of course, its not their fault, though... in fact, its not anyones.......

well.. enough of those probate probate thing.. its making my blog mood going down....

today, i was not hyper at all... could you believe me>>??? sandra? not hyperr??? but not emo... just.no.feelings.... everything i'm doing seems so slow...... like everyone around me is doing e.v.e.r.t.h.i.n.g. so fast....... *sigh*

me and low didnt play volleyball today.... raining.... so i went back early... cause Alex came early... i was trying to sleep in the car when he was singing loudly the new pussycat dolls song"when i grow up" its so.damn.annoying. ...... ugh! i know Emily AND Adeline will understand wat i meant, they had experienced it before..... its so.... ugh!!! dunno how to explain, follow me back one day, if u wanna know how it feel.... horrible.... ugh!

i'm tired..... very tired.... cause yesterday... early morning 6.45, i woke up to get donation for st.john in pasar imbi... then straight away, go for piano class, then after that, went for cheer... as usual... have to wait for a.l.e.x. o.o... always the last to go back, in the end, i reach home at 7.00... and emily pun kena marah by her parents cause we came back so late......

ohya... CONGRATULATIONS, SHIRTLIFF!!!!! WINNING 2 AWARD WHICH WAS SHOWMANSHIP AWARD AND MERIT AWARD AND OF COURSE,BEING A CHAMPION... U MAKE US SO DARN PROUD!!!!!!!!

got to go ady...... tons of homework to be done and hand in tomorrow... ugh! adeline so good... everything oso no need to do.....>.<........... talking about her, she, is like pinky only, fetting far from us, like she dont exist only, lost contact, like she is Lost In Heaven only... o.o she better be back before we for get about her.....of course, which WE WONT!!! 6 more days.....=) 134 hours=)

and ariff, congratulations that u got into probation, dun ever think stupid which you said was backing out, just because of me o.o, its ridiculous, dun be stupid, i feel like giving u a slap when you asked me.... ugh! dun even think about it... understand!!???