After tuition, I headed straight up to my room, switching off my lights and fan, closing the door, pulled a blanket over my head, hugged my teddy bear and tried to forget about tomorrow and all the tomorrows that would follow. Unfortunately, my dad woke me up for dinner at 9.30PM. Still in my half-u, i walked deadly to the toilet, washed my face and have my dinner.
Still in depression, i shower cold water over my head, washing my tears away. I took a step to get out of the toilet and pressed my head against my closet. For a little while I indulged myself in a few moments of quiet despair.
Who did it?
What shall I do?
Am I doing the right thing?
Did I really change that much?
What is their problem?
Why he can, and I can't?
Every single of them is bugging me. Up to this point, I had avoided the question by just not thinking about it, but now for some reason, the awful possibility had come crashing down on me. The thought sapped up a bit of energy from my body.
I really dont know what to do. But now, the truth is revealed, what shall I do? I have no one to trust. No one to pour my feelings to. No one could understand how I feel right at this second now. Because only I can feel what I'm feeling right now.
All I could do is just shutting my mouth up. zipping it tight and never open it A.K.A faking a smile wherever I go and act as if I am happy as natural as I could.
*sigh*
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