Parents. Grandparents. Treasure them.

I don't know why, I dreamt about my grandmother, walking back and fourth in front of me, and my dad was telling my cousins that she was gonna die. I remembered, I was crying in my dreams, asking god, why does she have to die?

I wondered for a very long time.

A call woke me up.

"Sandraaa.. we are having class, where are you?" said Puan Jugdeep.
"oh shit! I'm coming teacher!" I replied.

I wondered how I overslept. In the car, I think about my dream again and I told my mother about it.

"Mom, I dreamt that mama is going to pass away."
"What do you mean you dreamt? She's already dead."

That moment, I just realised that, my grandma actually passed away 6 years ago. All i can replied was, "oh ya horr.."

Why did she appear in my dreams? Is it simply cause I missed her too much? I don't know the answer.

I remember telling Alex about the guy who passed away in front of Siewjin and I. and i remembered he said, "so?" that answer really shocked me because usually ppl will say, ohmygod.. are you serious or something like that.

I asked him, "what do you mean by so?"

"everyone dies, its just the matter of time. What so big deal about it?"

the words he utter simply make me realise that everyday, somebody dies. It's like a natural phenomena. Why can't we accept the fact that someone dies? What is there to cry about when the person is ALREADY dead? It's not like you can do anything. It's not like your tears can bring that person back alive. Your tears are not some holy water.

The point here is, we must treasure the ppl we love. ESPECIALLY our parents. or grandparents.

Eventhough they are super annoying at times,
Eventhough they can be very bossy at times,
Eventhough WE THINK they never use their brains at times,
Eventhough WE THINK they dont love us.
Eventhough they can talk NON STOP at times which simply annoys us and allow us to put on our headphones while their talking.
Eventhough they can whine 24/7 a day about our studies and stuff.

But, have you ever thought, that once they are gone, they are forever,

gone?

I realised that sometimes, its not their problem. It just us, teenagers. Have you ever thought, maybe they didnt change all along? Maybe, its simply JUST US?

Have you ever thought, what if you walk away JUST like that from them, and suddenly,

SOMETHING HAPPEN TO THEM??

Have you ever thought, what if you walk away JUST LIKE THAT, and you DIDNT know it was FOREVER? and only later did you know that they just dissapear in your life JUST.LIKE. THAT?

I've just experienced this few days ago. My grandmother came over to my house and overnight because she had to attend a wedding dinner with my mom. The moment she stepped into my house, she went,

"Teng Teng! why you never throw this away?"
"Teng Teng! why is your room so messy?"
"Teng Teng! This is very dangerous! you might hurt yourself.."
"Teng Teng! can i borrow your phone?"
"Teng Teng! how do you use the phone?"
"Teng Teng! got any paper?"
"Teng Teng! got any pen?"

answers:
1) because I HAVE NO TIME!
2) because I'm having my bloody exams! and I have no time to clean it!
3) I wont okayh! i'm 16! not 6!
4) yah! sure! go get it yourself.
5) go find yourself larh!
6) WAIT LARH! cant you see I'm busy?!

I COULD have answer all those questions like that. in fact, if she wasnt my grandmother, i WOULD HAVE answer whoever that is like that. but, I didnt.

I told her,

1) nola, my maid didnt throw it away.
2) Oh, sorry! i just finish my exams. no time >.<>
3) oh okay.. i keep it arh..
4) oh yah! sure =D *with a big smile on my face, ran down to get my house phone for her*
5) gotttt!! of course got =D turn my room upside down to get a PIECE of paper.
6) go through ALL MY BAGS to get ONE pen for her. it took me 10 minutes to get A PEN though.. that shows how MESSY my room was.

why did I answer her like that? because everytime I want to answer her like how i want to answer her the in the first time, I was thinking, how would she feel if i answer her like that? She's actually very simple. All she wants is just a phone, pen and paper and ME not getting hurt.

That's all. What so difficult?

One more thing, is I realise something that makes a different in my life.

I went shopping with my mom. I wanted to buy flip flops. and my mom complained that those flip flops in Reef and Billabong is so low quality and they sell it at such a high price. I told her, that this is normal. and she told me, "WE CAN BUY THESE SLIPPERS in Thailand for a very low price.."

in my heart, i was thinking, "why the hell you compare with another country?? =.=" but fine, after arguing such a LONGGG TIME, i suddenly asked her, "why are you being so angry? I'm just showing you. I didnt FORCE you to buy it for me right?"

and she was like, "nooo.. because you dun know how to see whether the quality is good or not!" and i told her, "okay. fine. but why do you have to raise your voice?" I think that sentence struck her. and she immediately shut up. After seeing me so down, she shopped around for my stuff.. but I didnt want any of them. She knows my aim was to buy SLIPPERS. I wasnt angry at her at all. Actually, I wasnt down.. but i just didnt want to argue with her.

The next thing i knew, she wanted to buy a pair of SLIPPERS which cost almost 300 bucks from GUESS. I was like, O.O er.. its expensive..

mom: nooo.. its okay.. at least its has a better quality compare to the slippers you want just now.
me: but its STILL expensive for a pair of SLIPPERS?!
mom: aiyaa.. just buy larrr.. *turns to the salesgirl* okay! we will take this =D
me: waiittttttt!!!!!! can think first arh? its REALLLYYY expensive..
mom: oh.. you like laa.. we can come back and buy anytime..
me: er.. okayy..

So, after so many things happen to me, everytime I think my parents dont love me. I think, AGAIN. Even my dad came into my room and ask how am I and stuff.. and laughs about my phone bill when i try to explain that my phone spoil and stuff but my phone bill will still be high because i called a lot before my phone spoil.. and all he said was, "i didnt ask also.."

>.<

I dont know why i am writing this post.. but i just feel that, we should always think twice before making conclusions that our parents dun love us. The feeling is just for awhile. You will realise one day that they actually know if you're working very hard for something. YOU THINK they dont know. if they really dont know. 3 words.

Make.them.realise.

<3