suck-ed

Firstly... i really suck.. after getting my sejarah marks... i really feel useless ady... en. rasyid was asking everyone their marks.. and when he asked me.. i told him.. he gave me HIS look.. and i was like... "cikgu, jangan tengok saya macam itu arh... saya dari almost fail sudah naik sampai B.. semua ialah hasil titik peluh saya.. saya mmg belajar dan telah meningkat... tapi tak tau kenapa saya masih dapat markah macam ini... kalau cikgu tak percaya.. tanya Emily... jadi... kena tepuk tangan untuk saya..."

then like wth... the whole class clapped hands... so wth... then after that... he went away... then niro was like calling "sandra... sandra.." i didnt hear,

then she was like
"SANDRA!"
"huh? wat??"
"high five leh... we got same marks..."
"wat to high five about???"
"cause we got same marks larh!"

i stared at her.. and look away.... she doesnt understand... all along, she gets good marks.. and only this time.. she like accidentally get not good marks... me? all along... i have shitty marks... so, i made an effort to study.. but i still couldnt get and A...

"so high five larh!!"

Emily knows... she knows i'm gonna breakdown soon.. she whispered something to Niro... and niro was like "sandra, u okay or nottt???" my tears was really gonna burst.. plus, she somemore ask like that... then both of them were staringggggg at me.. i smiled and say "why u looking at me larhhh????? i know i'm very pretty.... stop looking larhhh" and chuckled...

later on.. i went to en.rasyid... i asked permission to go to toilet.. obviously, to burst my gonna burst tears out... and then.. he said okay... but he stopped me... he talked to me provately and talked about my marks...

"kamu, marah ke???"
"huh?? mana ada, cikgu... saya tak marah larhh.. mana ada begitu kecil hati??"
"betul ke???"
"betul la....."
"kamu sebenarnya pandai.. boleh dapat A.. cuma kena berusaha sikitt je.. sikit lagi... kamu boleh... tapi tak tau kenapa masih tak dapat A"
"ahh.. yala.. cikgu... saya punya sejarah mmg macam ni.. tapi bukan kerana cikgu la... saya tak marah... "

then he offered me Fisherman's friend...

*wathehell....* suddenly only.. XD

then.. i went to the toilet... luckily.. this time, Niro didnt come banging on the toilet door, asking me to come out..

when i went back to the class.. emily kept on talking to me.. and she was like... "oiii.. look at me larhhh.."

i didnt wanna show her my red face... sore eyes.. so i just kept looking down, pretending to pack my bag... and when school ends.. i quickly quicken my pace and left sheau hwa, ade and siew jin.. so that they wont notice my tears...

and.. when i got into the car... they saw me.. and i just waved goodbye.. and quickly look away....