7 Letters.

my mom's right.

DARN RIGHT.

I'm selfish.

If only I didnt go to school,
If only I WANNA miss school,
If only I rested at home,
If only I didnt go and celebrate Low's birthday,
If only that celebration is postponed,
If only I stayed at home like what Sheau Hwa did,
If only I DONT GO TO SCHOOL,

Then,
I wouldnt have made so many ppl sick,
I wouldn't have spread the virus,

AND,

Valerie won't be sick,
Low won't be sick,
well, ade is already sick,
but,
Siewjin wont be sick.

Then she wouldn't have to suffer in the Head Prefect Camp,
Then she wouldn't have to check for swine,
Then she wouldn't have to check for dengue,
Then she wouldn't admit to the hospital,
Then she wouldn't have to STAY in there for so long,
Then she wouldn't have to poke by the doctor so many times with a needle,
Then she wouldn't have ate those sucky food in the hospital,
Then she wouldn't have to think that WATERMELON is the best food on earth right now,
Then she wouldn't have cried because she WANTS to go home,
Then she wouldn't have to spend her hols and weekend in that luxurious yet uncomfortable building.
Then she wouldn't have to walk around with that stainless steel bar hung with a bloody pack of thing dripping through her wrist, poking her, and causing her to suffer from the unbearable pain!

She wouldn't have to. At all.

But now, because of me, she need to be there.
And the doctor didnt wanna let her home because her platelets are dropping. Haemorhage, the guy in the white robe said.

It's all my fault isnt it?

I feel as bad as hell right now.

If only I did that one step,
none of these will happen.

If something happen to her, I'll never forgive myself for the rest of my life. The worst part is, I dont think visiting her is a good idea cause all she need now is rest. Eventhough, she really needs support from her friends, namely, us. But, not visiting her is the best choice. Cause most of us are sick. And our immune system is down. We are under quarantined. we are NOT suppose to go anywhere, what more, going to A HOSPITAL.

It will just make things worst.

Well,

all I can do now,

is,

in fact,

NOTHING.

*

I feel so useless. Oh, I forgot.

*

I AM,

USELESS.

I.AM.SO.BLOODY.ANGRY.AT.MYSELF.

love youuu sooo much! =(

I miss hugging you WHILE SMILING like that =(

I hope u can come out from the hospital faster so that we can hang out like we use to =)

Siewjin, I really miss your kisses =( and your hugs too D=