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Thursday, May 28, 2009

I wonder if I can take it any longer.

The old me is dead and gone.

I’ll just talk briefly on what happened this few days.

Sunday night/ Monday.

After having dinner with my family, I went back and started studying. But then, I only started opening the book after 12am. I was really tired, so I made a cup of coffee and started studying until 5.30am. and at that time, my body really couldn’t take it, so I fell asleep for 10 minutes and woke up for school

I went to school and I remember being VERY hyper and kept annoying puiyi with the “kiss me through the phone” song. HahaXD

While having the second paper of sejarah, I started not to feel well. All of a sudden I cant breathe properly. My lungs were so pain every time I breathe and I thought of killing myself on the spot because it was so pain. Siewjin was so worried about me. In fact, the whole class was worried about me. Even AJITPAL! =D

Really thankful to have this kind of friends. But one thing for sure, I screwed my Sejarah.

Monday night/ Tuesday.

After piano, it was around 8 something or 9pm. My parents and brother was gone. They went to watch the preview of Terminator Salvation.

Without me.

They weren’t at home and my maid went back.. so, I was alone. Home Alone. Like the first time in my life. Well, it wasn’t their fault. I dint wanna go as I was having add maths the very next day. They bought me KFC for dinner though. Howeverrrrrr, I thought I could use the time to study but it turns out that I use the time to sleep~! I slept SO EARLY and I dint study at ALL! Because my lungs started to be very pain again. I didn’t know what’s wrong with me. And I thought I was going to die. Alone.

Okay. No. Just joking.

Not funny huh?

Fine.

Well, the very next day, after sitting for Add maths. I was the only one who said it was SO EASY LIKE DUNNO WHAT. Well, It was true! It’s SO EASY that I think I’m some new nerd people who created new complicated formulas for function and other stuff that I, MYSELF don’t even understand WHAT THE HELL I WAS WRITING! So?

Die LA!


Tuesday night/ Wednesday.

I had a very bad headache after school. It continued until night time after tuition. So, after tuition, my mom fetched me back. I asked her if I can go to siewjin’s house.. well, practically TOLD her, because I thought siewjin was my bestie, so its IMPOSSIBLE for me NOT to go for her thingy? But, no.

My mom thinks, after a 3 weeks of hell, of exams, with sleepless nights, its TOO MUCH and TOO DEMANDING for me, to go to my best friend’s party.

Great huh?

Fine. I didn’t get angry. I wasn’t angry. I was, a little. But, it was cool with me. So, I went back to my room WITHOUT GIVING A SUCKY FACE to study today’s chemistry. But my headache was getting worse, so, I tried to get some rest. Because it was HURTING ME!

Somehow, I didn’t know why I locked my door. Probably trying to get some peace. But, all of a sudden, my mom was banging through the door and ACCUSING me of using the BLOODY DAMN SHIT COMPUTER when the BLOODY DAMN SHIT laptop was IN MY BROTHER’s ROOM.

Well, I told her dad in a VERY KINDA POLITE TONE. Well, guess what she replied?

“THEN YOU ARE ON THE PHONE LARH!”

like wtf? I’ve been working my ass off for this 3 weeks for the stupid bloody exam, and NOW, I’m having headache, AND I WANT TO REST but I had a strong will to study.. BUT YOU ARE SAYING THAT I AM ENJOYING BEHIND THE LOCKED DOORS?

Well, I cant take it anymore. These days she keep saying things that I don’t know what the hell is she thinking about! Not mentioning the other little things that I can call it TERRORIZING MY MENTAL!

I seriously cant take it, with the strong pain beating in my head. I finally broke down. I haven’t cried this hard before. Really. I cried till I sleep. Waking up and my eyes were swollen like don’t know what.

And Vivian says I look innocent with that eyes. Cute, she said. =.=”

Well, I went to school, and every interval of some time, when I talk to siewjin or Low about it, I would start to cry. Even when I’m sitting for the paper, even when I’m in the car. I just don’t know why I’m so soft in this. SO SHITTY ya noe?

I have come to this point, that WHATEVER she want me to do, I would just do it. If she wants me to die, I would just stab myself to death in front of her. EVERYTHING! Whatever she wants.

I wonder if I can take it any longer.

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