The most PATHETIC day of my life.

Can't be getting mad, but you're mad, cant handle that?

Pffffttt.

I've been studying all night. all night, all morning.

I still remember Low's last message. She said she was going to sleep at 1.30am. I looked at my phone clock. It’s already 1am. So, in half an hour, Low’s will be asleep. All night long, I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s only 1.30am.. ONLY 1.30am.

I keep stuffing information into my head and keep convincing myself that only 10 minutes passed. Only ten minutes.. soon, the moment I check the time. It wasn’t 1.10am. It was 3.20am. I was like, what the.. .. .

Fine, at 4am, I still left 35 pages. Fine, I thought. I would just finished it up. And then I realised there was MORE than 35 pages. *sigh * I was really tired, but I keep telling myself its going to be pointless if I just stop halfway and I keep telling myself that my hardwork will be paid off. So, I just continued. I did everything I could to make myself awake. Drinking coffee, drink some juices, did sit ups while reciting all the daya tahan kardiovaskular stuff.

and I was reciting all the notes I memorised.
I'm really sleeeeepieeeee~~ (>.<)>

3.28am. but i dunno why my watch shows SUNDAY.. 17th. even now, its still shows 17th May. ugh. what's wrongggg?! die lo...

it started with really nice notes..
then the not so nice notes..
and finally, LANTAK LAH! just highlight the book!
u know how to read right?

sorry for my blurness.. as i say.. it was EARLY IN THE MORNING ALREADY! Pffftttt~!

Well, eventually, the clock struck 5am this morning and I was asking myself, why am I so sleepy? After everything, I decided I should get some rest cause I really needed a toothpick to keep my eye open.

I wished myself goodnight and went to sleep.

The worst part was, I COULDN’T GET TO SLEEP! All the facts were running around my head. Then my head started to get real pain. And I felt really uncomfortable. When I finally got to sleep, I received a message from Jarrett.

T.T

Fine, get back to sleep. And thank god I slept well for the half an hour. Yeah, and I woke up late for school. I was rushing and just when I want to get out of my house, I realised I didn’t have my shoe. I asked my maid, and she said,

“oh.. dekat sini.. tapi, ada SEDIKIT basah..”

she didn’t bring in my shoe when it rained last night. Well, who cares? I’m gonna be late. SO, I just shove my feett into the white pair of shoes. And in my head, I was like, !@#$%^&*() YOU CALL THIS SEDIKIT BASAH?! HALF of the shoe was filled with water.

Goddammit.

Ugh! I couldn’t care less cause I was gonna be late for school and each step I took to walk into the school, I was cursing my maid. It’s like your feet is soaked in somekind of rain water.

My started off damn bad. I could barely open my eyes. But, I keep gulping down more and more coffee so that I would be awake. If not, I know I wont live through today.

Well, everything was fine. “KINDA!” you head larh! It was never fine today. My day has gone from BAD.. to WORST when during assembly they said,

“Perhatian kepada semua pelajar tingkatan 4, Peperiksaan Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan pada hari ini telah dibatalkan dan akan diadakan pada hari Khamis, 28 Mei 2009.”

I was talking to someone and when I heard it, I stopped. Stared at Niro. And went O.o.. “WHAT?!” I really want to curse like hell mann.

I tell you, that time my eyes start to get really watery already. It’s like everything is out of my way. Then Yuen Ping sat with me during the speeches. And I couldn’t stand it. I was weeping already.

It’s like I’ve work my ass off. And then I got paid by my maid’s smartness.. and the reschedule of the stupid exam!

Weeping but I still can stand it. Not really, actually. I was hoping that assembly ends earlier. Once the skylite was cleared, I stomped my way through the corridor to get my bag and started crying again. But I keep giving the I’m-okay-face because I did not want to show the anyone that I’m crying. I just put my head down and hike that stupid four floors.

And on the way, there’s this junior who didn’t button up. And I was like tahaning to ask him to button up with a really patient voice. I said, “button up pls.. .. ..” But, he said, “TAK NAK!” blardy hell.. boy, he realllllyyyy picked the WRONG TIME TO MESS WITH ME! I shouted right through his face, “BUTTON UP PLEASE!” and he was so scared. Puiyi and Yuenping was like O.o I think I really shouted real loud cause I nearly made myself deaf too.

And after buttoning up, I shouted, “THANK YOU!” and stomped my way up to fourth floor. Puiyi told me that the boy was so scared and he said I was so fierce.

I ran into the class, made my way to my place. Everyone was staring at me. And I just tahan tahan tahan not to cry. I was breathing really heavily already. Then, finally, I cant stand it. I just sat down at my place and cried non stop. And the crying didn’t seem to stop. It’s been so long since I cried real hard. I think this time I’m really stressed up.

How great is everything huh?

Everyone was comforting me non stop. Even student from other classes. Alfa and Omega students came to comfort me. Everyone said, that it is no point crying. It’s okay. We still have to sit that exam. At least I studied already.

But.. it’s not that the information I memorised like hell will stay in my bloody stupid head right?

Then, after washing my face, Niro came and said, “Sandra.. look at me.. LOOK AT ME.. *with that serious face*” Halfway sobbing, I smiled a little. And all of them wondered why the hell I smile.. after 10 minutes, I uttered, “why look at you? I see your face also want to vomit.” Then everyone started laughing.

That girl arh.. if you say SOMEONE ELSE say that, maybe I will look at that handsome face larh.. but her arrr?? Waste energy for me to take my head up and look. HahaXD. Nola. Joking.

Everytime they talk about PJ, I would just try to stand from tear-ing again. Well, we had the English Paper 1. before that, yuenping and I went to see the PJ teacher and asked why they change the schedule? Well, it seems that they don’t want us to skip school on teacher’s day celebration so that’s why they put the exam on the last day.

I was like WHAT THE HELL.. I really wanted to punch someone in the face. I REALLY NEED TO RELEASE MY ANGERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Went back to class and I was seriously cursing.. WHAT THE FFFFF……………..-FISHBALLL!!! Then everyone in class started laughing and I was like, “NOT FUNNY OKAYH! SERIOUSLY! NOT IN THE MOOD!” then everyone was like shutting up already. Stupid niro larh.. laugh laugh laugh.. feel like smacking her.

Well, during English paper 1, I really released all my anger in it. One of the questions was like asking to tell your enjoyable weekend. I was like.. ENJOYABLE?! NOT ENJOYABLE AT ALL!

Then, I decided to choose to write the essay entitled, “FEAR.” I told Andreana that I wrote about 900 words.. and everyone was like ,”NINE HUNDRED?! And then they were asking what I wrote.. and I said,

“simple only.. My father die, my mother die, my brother die, my ELDER brother die. I got into deep depression. Found a boyfriend. In the end, my boyfriend also died.”

Everyone was like O.o why you dun die?

IF I DIE, I WONT BE WRITING THE STORY OUT RIGHT?!

During recess, keanloong was like saying I should have predict that we wont be having PJ exams. I was like asking him to stop talking about it cause I really cannot stand it anymore.
Then after recess, had 3 periods before English paper 2 started. And that’s the time when I cheered up a little. The teacher was like, “whoah.. Sandra.. kuatnya suaraaaa~~” I was laughing like crazy with Puiyi, Jo Ee, Vivian, Emily, Bao Yu Zhai, Siewjin and Low. HahaXD

Puiyi the pengarah Doumyouji warn me NOT TO POST ANYTHING ABOUT IT. =P

Had paper 2 and everytime I thought its gonna end, there’s another section. Turn the page, thought it’s the last page but got another section then turn the page again, thought it’s the last page but got ANOTHER section.

I was seriously darn tired during the exam. I can barely look and read at the question properly. Well, no choice, I just do do do.. then got an hour left. I tried to sleep. But failed. I sleep in every different way but I STILL couldn’t sleep. SO MANY THINGS was going through my head.

All the notes I memorise. All the thoughts I’ve been keeping. Everything.

*sigh * in the end, I couldn’t sleep at all. I’m seriously very tired. REALLY tired. But I just couldn’t get my mind to rest in peace.

In the car, I was counted rude to my mom. Everything also dun wan. Dun wan eat this dun wan eat that. Dun wan.. everything also dun wan. All i wanted is to go back and rest!

Haizz.. chaos la.. T.T my eyes is like somekind of burnt potato. Haizhhh….

Wish me good luck for tonight. Looks like history is gonna repeat for the next 10 days. (>.<) ************************
You think I’m strong,
But I’m just another girl,
But a weird one of course.
I’m weak in other ways.

I don’t cry over friends,
I don’t’ cry over guys,
I don’t cry over family.

I cry,

Over books.

And when I couldn’t stand any longer.

Lesson learnt 1: NEVER STUDY TILL MORNING! Ur hardwork will always NEVER be paid.

Lesson learnt 2: the school admin is seriously.. idunnohowtosay.

Lesson learnt 3: you have to SHOUT at the students to make them listen.

Period.