Just, shattered.

If I had nothing, would you want me to stay?

As I read your message, I really can't take it anymore. I just, somehow, just broke down when I read that message..

I know how you feel..
I really do know..

That two words simply shattered my heart into pieces.
It's so heartbroken knowing that you will be unhappy.

Ouch.

It's the first time I seriously feel like that about you.
We just have to be strong okay?

Sometimes love comes around~
And it knocks you down
Just get back up!

I love you.

Always and forever <3

Love,
Sandra,
xoxo

Apology accepted.

I gave it all up~
I'm takin back my loveeee~

I'm happy to see everyone's blog happy. =)

I'm happy that Zui Khai apologised upon wetting my WHOLE BODY IN AND OUT! and HE'S WHOLE BODY.. since you want to do it straight forward, I'll do it too =) well, at first, yesterday, I was seriously damn pissed.. like, "wth?? what kind of attitude was that?"

i was actually boiling.. but then, after reading your blog, and you REALISED that you were too much.. ah! whatever.. I dun like hating ppl.. and i DONT hate you okayh.. i just dont like it, that's all.

oh, one more thing, i wasnt really pissed BECAUSE of the chinese society thing as I AM NOT ANYTHING related to that society.. what i meant was your acts that time.. and the times when i ask you to button up or something in school.. . and i cant believe that time you were laughing so loud through my face in front of the juniors.. if you dun realise, I have face too okayh.. you do like that in front of the juniors, do you think they will respect me next time?

and also, throughout the whole camp, when i guess, you were TOOO hyper that you dont know what was on your mind thinking when you do stuff that makes people mad.. that time, I seriously do think that you were acting in doing all those make-ppl-mad stuff.. that's why, if you realise, everytime you do something stupid, I will just keep staring at you from far.. in fact, the whole time, I've been staring at you for so many times.. it's just that you didnt notice it..

pls larr.. just be yourself can or not? I believe someone as old as you has brains to think.. no brains, as you say, also got ass to think righttt??? I seriously think that u are not what you are NOW..

I never hate ppl. Hate is a strong word, ya noe? and I dun like to keep unhappy things in my head. So, you already apologised, and it everything is perfectly fine with me and I'm cool with it. I'm not that type of person who will hold grudges till the end of my life.

and and and, i LEARN CHINESE OKAYH! i understand it.. I go for tuition okayh! it's just that you all punya chinese were so !@#)(*&^%$#@ until I barely understand.. hahaXD but i actually know what the roundabout you guys mean.. just that, those proverbs or got isi tersirat things, I would be like, "what you talking about again??" =P

and ANOTHER one more thing, I'm proud to have my name in your title post =D hahaXD

ANDDDD, one more ANOTHER thing, I'm sorry too if I did something you dont like all these while, I was just playing around especially at the REALLY beginning of the year.. and also cause of the one day camp post, sorry cause I was seriously VERY angry at that time..

*peace*

*******************************************

so, I slept really early yesterday.. actually, no lor.. I slept at 10 something.. but its counted quite early.. i slept after doing the post before this.. and then woke up at about 9 something, almost 10am.. and my whole family went to have dim sum in some restaurant..

it was yummeh! and I was laughing all the way with my dad..

dad: so, go back? alex, got exam tomorrow?
alex: yeah..
dad: let's go then..

*gets up from table, walks out, it was darn sunny*

me: yeah yeah~~ i got no more exam.. tan sai gai~~=DDDD *walks out*
dad: what tan sai gai?? go back and mop and swipe the floor.. wash the car, bathe the dog, clean the whole house..wash clothes.. iron clothes..
me: WALAO! why must I DO?? dun wan! after exam.. its MY TIME! muahaha!

*walks out*
me: OHMYGOD!!!!! so sunnyyyy!!! dad!! faster take an umbrella and shelter me!
dad: =.="
me: FASTERRR!! u run to the car then come back and shelter me!!!
dad: u walk behind me larr..
me: how cannnnn!!! i'm so much bigger size than you..
dad: then you walk behind your mother..
me: HAHAHAHA! you say this kind of thing, you dun wan to sleep tonight arh?!
dad: aiyahhhh.. now only morning.. by the time, night time, she already forget about it larrr... concussion maa... say things also must see the right timing or not wannn...
me: hahahahahahhahahahXDDD

concussion cause my mom always forget to do something, then she blame the case where last timeeee.. very longgg time ago.. the maid mopped the floor and it was wet, so that time, she fell down and hit her head on the edge of the wall and she was kinda.. memory lost.. i wasnt born yet that time.. hahaXD one more thing, and because my mom was walking at the back of us with my auntie, she didnt hear the conver... if not.. ahahahahahaXDD

as what pigs do, I did the same.. After breakfast, I went straight up to my room, lie down on my bed... browse through all the pictures I took yesterday.. and eventually... . .. .*snores*

hahaXD woke up at 12.52pm, wanted to do my piano homework, moved one muscle and felt tired again, so *snores* and then when my dad woke me up, it was already 1.53pm.. die shit man!

faster did my piano homework.. in 5 minutes, done it already.. hahaXD then, went for music class at 2.09pm.. was a BIT lateee.. but then, i guess they just started.. =) cause only Vanessa started singing =D

came back around 3 something.. and then saw my mom sorting out luggages and I was like, *sigh* australia.. I havent start packing yett.. went back to my room.. and i find that my room is ACTUALLY VERY MESSSSSYYY.. especially during the exam period.. it was a total mess that if my grandmother sees it, she would nag me BEYOND 24 hours a day.. hahaXD

and the fact that, she is ACTUALLY coming to stay overnight tonight.. so, I was tidying my SUPER MESSY ROOM.. and i am SO proud that i tidied it for 2 hours non-stop.. berkat kerja keras saya, bilik saya sudah sangat kemas =D

but then, i realised, my worst problem in tidying my room was, I SERIOUSLY dont know where to put allllll my bagssss.. i realised i ACTUALLY have many many bagss.. shit man.. without the bags, my room would look SUPER tidy.. but now, I seriously dunno where to put all of it.. (>.<)

okayy.. chao chao peeps! =DD love ya ppl! =DD

and to SOMEONE, I'll kill you if you say you're fat again.

SBU Chinese Society One Day Camp =)

morning reached bout 7.30am.. saw the UBS members going to cameron.. Dil, Gaik xuang and all.. hahaXD then, saw yuenping.. she was hugging me and going, "SANDRAAA!!!" and after registering, she was gone.

zunzen, gone.
Keanloong, gone.
Su Zanne, gone.

everyone, gone.

and so, I went to entertain myself.. went to watch Su Zanne and Sin Zhao practice their gu zheng.. then then... when they were done, I was alone,

again.

after that, I saw Sze Kitt.. and I was FORCING him to accompany me.. until Yuenping came and accompany me.. =) Zkang came, went to accompany him to eat his breakfast.. then, the thingy started around 9am.. we were divided into groups according to the colour of the ribbon..

it was kinda akward at first.. like, when i open the booklet, my first sentence was,

"WHAT THE.. what the heck are they talking about??"

cause it was all in chinese.. and then when the thing started.. like wth.. okay.. everyone talking in chinese.. explaining every single thing in chinese.. and after everything, I will be like,

"wo bu ming bai ni jiang shen me.. I. no. not. dunno. you. talking. what. bout."

hahaXD then, everyone was like, "ask zkang to translate for you larh!" and then he would be like scratching his head.. thinking of words how to explain.. and after long explanations.. i would be like, "OHHHHHH!!!!!!.. . . .rightttttt.... . . i still dun understand.." hahahahXD

and then, to make it worst, all the games, were like those stationed games.. it was fun.. but then, we have to find the place and things by clues.. and like, rightttt. . .. the clues were in chinese.. and all of them were like talking some language from India.. and i was like, "okayyyyy...dot.dot.dot..."

I wasnt really hyper.. but after that, haiyah! just JOIN in lah.. dun give a shit.. so, after that.. oklarrr.. but then I'm not that crazy.. didnt really be IN THE games.. just play for the sake of being a group member.. cause I didnt wanna wet myself and stuff..

but if its in St. John... .. .i tell you. . .. I would play until all my opponent drop dead.. hahaXD anyway, Su Zanne kept saying me, "stop pak toh larh HAIYORHHH..." i was like,"WTH?! I was asking what does our cheer mean lar. . . ." cause each group had a cheer and like, wth.. I dun even know what it means.. worst still, I cant even PRONOUCE IT PLO-PEL-LY! hahaXD

overall.. had fun laa.. had fun bullying him and stupid weigin and xiau wei had fun bullying ME! sobssss.. *sniff sniff* blardy hell.. kept holding on to me and molesting me, both of them.. WALAO! seriously scary mannn.. hahahhaXD

I DIDNT KNOW LIM WEI GIN AND ONG XIAU WEI HAS THE ABILITY TO MOLEST PEOPLE! damn ganas ppl.. hahaXD anyway, these are some pictures =DDDDD

owh.. look at the sleepiee head professor.. Dont pray pray.. Ph.D holder kayh! hahaXD
someone took my phone and started taking pictures.. (>.<) sin zhao and a juniorrr~
whoah! Sin Zhao so great.. everyone kneel upon him =DD
guess whoooo??? hahaXD
We were STRONGLT against breast cancer =DD and our motto was, "TOGETHER WE FIGHT!" hahaXD
humanssss~funny onesss..


skillful oness..
cool onesss~blur onesss~
can dance onesss~
sporting onesss~and idiotic oness..

oh look~ its TIED TOGETHER, i wondered how he walked..
TOLD you he's a professor.. tie shoe lace with ONE hand only... FUYH! geng man!!!
oh! the war gameee..
keanloong explaininggg..
it WAS SERIOUSLY like a war.. but some of us, just stand aside and just.. like .. . ."what??"
scary man..
IT does not want to be seen..
oh! souvenirssss!! =DDDD
tadaaaa~~ niceeee?? =DD
my whole group.. which is named, what ming ady arh?? hahaXD sen issit?? i think so.. anyway, there's Su Zanne, Hui Yen, Ching Shean, Kha Mun, Zkang, Hui San, Ah Heng, Ah Keat, Wei shen who I called Wilson.. easier to remember.. Yi Da, who is not heree.. left early.. and ME!! =D

whoah! kesian.. there was this handsome guy kena bullied by two hot chinese girls.. ahahahXD

candid =DDD love them!
su zannnneeeee~~~~
spoon guy! hahaXD fake-nyaa the smile.. I ask you to smile, doesnt mean it has to be fake OKAYH!!!!! shesssshh!
wave ur hands up in the air~ =DDD spot us! =DD *wink wink*

kesian.. kien yoong kena stripped by the other ppl..

the he took pictures.. =.="

and he was tortured.. zkang went to comfort him.. hahahaXD

and then and then, there's this girl from sekolah Raja Abdullah, ppl, you KNOW me right?? THIS GIRL, she was 100 times louder than me.. 1 thousand times bossier than me.. 1 million times, more noisier than me.. 1 billion times ruder than me.. you WONT WANT to meet her.. she is, what I call,

GOD.

BEYOND GOD.

everytime our group see THEIR group, zkang would faster pull me away.. he would be closing his ears already.. hahahahhaXD and keep shaking his head and say, "mygod.. I pity her boyfriend.." hhahahahaXD as for me, I would just stare at her while she's shouting at other ppl.. and I was thinking, if i have a chance, i would go straight to her, and slap her face and ask her to shut up..

seriously, she shout and shout and shout for nothing, scolding ppl like a mad cow and shout so loud while talking as if her grandmother bought OUR school for her.. wa-lao-EH!

at that time, i was shaking my head while thinking.. "okay.. NOW I know I'm ACTUALLY QUITE FEMININE!" hahahahhahahXD

anyway, the camp ended at 5pm.. and I went home 5pm sharp cause my mom went and trash into the school and into classrooms to find me.. phew.. hahaXD

anyway, I had a really great time. Minus the fact that there'a a guy there that really pisses me off everytime I see him. GOSH.. and he thinks he is capable of taking SPM this year.. I think it's too difficult to him. He dont even have basic skills of being POLITE and MORALISE.. *sigh* I wonder what has GOT INTO HIM.. .. . .some little devil had taken the real guy away..

Now i know what Yuenping meant and HOW she felt.. NOW I KNOW what diffculty did she ACTUALLY faced.. .. GOSH! blardy hell. . .. ARGHHHH!!!!

damn him man..

anyway, dun care about this kind of bloody idiots.. yuenping, NOW i know how you feel.. if its me, I would have slap him already. Worst come to the worst, I would have hire a gang of Ah Longs and chop all his fingers down..

but overall, I had fun in the camp. Loads of it eventhough there wasnt anything to hoo-ha about.. but then, I'm glad your camp has turn out great WITHOUT THE HELP OF THAT IDIOT.. at least, most of them had loads of fun.. and you guys didnt "drop".. at least you guys SHOWED him what is called "TEAMWORK!"

you know what? I would really want to say to him.. "If I could rearrange the letters, I would put U, in between of the letter F and CK.." yuenping, I agree with EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAID ABOUT HIM.. at first i didnt know HOW BAD was the situation is.. but NOW i know..

okay.. I shouldnt get boiled with this kind of ppl.. erase erase! today was one of my most enjoyable day.. get to spend 9 hours with my loved ones =))) quite satisfying =D Plus, I get to meet cute and funny ppl different different schools.. hahaXD had so much fun with my group members.. eventhough we didnt win.. I'm damn satisfied already. In fact, I didnt know it would turn out to be actually so fun =) well, partly, maybe it was because of the company I had.. (>.<) but hello?? I still had fun with my group members, and of course my fasci, Su Zanne =DDD the joker of the day was zkang.. walao.. so crappish man.. hahahahXD i have to learn from him.. anyway, the it was ONE FINE DAY =)

*wink wink*

no one help me to tighten it anymore =(

oh, btw, look! 1111 emails! hahahahXD i dunno what to do with it..

Now I really know you in and out.

I love you.

Happeh Teacher's Day =D

okay, let's start~

I was so exhausted but I still got heart and strength to do these until 2am.. and like wthell?? still got ppl playing basketball 3 something in the morning.. like those ghost only.. . . anyway, I can barely open my eyes but I did thiss..

time cut cut cut~~
paste paste cut cut
MORE paste paste~~
and staple staple =DDD

and great, I woke up at 6.30am... two words,

DIE SHIT! * I sound like weixing larh.. "serious shit" "die shit" sure got the word SHIT at the back* hahaXD

I was rushing like crazy man... and I was kinda late.. I was sooo sleeeepieeee.. I ran into school then ran into bilik serba.. and I just heard the last sentence Nabila uttered,

"okay, now go for your duties~.."

i was like. .. . . er.. .. .what's happening??? (>.<)

then early in the morning, duty was go up every half an hour after assembly for roundings.. and every 15 minutes after recess.. omg, SO TIRING man.. somemore Nanthienie didnt come.. sheesshhh! leave me alone.. T.T.. but hor, imagine ppl who get 4th floor rounding.. by the time they come down, they have to go up again.. hahahaXD

puiyi, Emily, Vivian, Weigin and I were like together almost everytime.. but mostly my future WIFEY, fatty puiyi. hahaXD went to observe the students.. then saw few student brought handphones.. kantoi lorh.. somemore what? hahaXD

the whole day was just walking around the school.. non stop walking round the school for almost 7 hours.. actually, there was no use for us to duty because the students were UNCONTROLLABLE! i mean, if I am in their position, I will make noise also laa.. its SO BORING okayh.. waiting for the performance and stuff.. kesian the juniors who were damn close to me.. all sure kena from me wan.. especially Trishala..

me:keep quiet... RIGHT NOW! NOW!! *she wasnt making noise actually.. talking very softly*
trishala: *looks at with innocent eyes..*
me: STOP MOVING, right NOW! now!!
trishala: *sat VERY STILL*
me: i said, STOP MOVING!!!
trishala: ??? *cause she wasnt moving*
me: STOP MOVING YOUR LUNGS.. which means, STOP BREATHING!

hahahahahXD kesian her mannn..

during recess, puiyi and I went to hunt for teachers to give them the cookies.. and I was like giving teachers lecture while giving the cookiess.. even to Puan Sareah! hahaXD i was like,

"CIKGU! Selamat Hari Guru.. *gives the cookies* cikgu! mesti HABISKAN arrr.. saya buat dengan PENUH kasih sayang... buat sampai pagi.. lagi saya punya jari pun kena burn.. sakit tau cikgu.. jadi, cikgu mesti HABISKAN.. dan setiap kali cikgu makan biskut ini, mesti enjoy with the LOVEEEEE~..."

it goes on with EVERY TEACHER.. and puiyi was like wthelll??? hahahahahXD she was laughing non stop.. damn funnehhh mannnn... and EVERY teacher have DIFFERENT expression.. it was SO FUNNY..

then, when I gave to Puan Sareah, I said the same thing.. then when i wanted to give Puan Zuraimah.. she was like saying, "mesti emak dia yang buat ni.." Puan Sareah repeated my line.. DAMN FUNNYYYY... I was about to tell Puan Zuraimah that I did it MYSELF.. but then Puan Sareah was like, "bukannnnn.. dia buat ni dengan PENUH KASIHHHH SAYANGGGG... mesti makan.." hahahaXD

I told Puan Alicia, and she was like, "okayyy.. thank youuu~~~!!! =D"

me: teacher, must eat arr..
teacher: okayy..
me: I did it by myself wan you know.. must eat arr!
teacher: okayy..
me: I did it will all my heart and soul wan you knowww, must eat arrr!!!
teacher: OKAYY!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH damn funnyyy mannn... hahahahahahahXDDD then, I gave to... ...

Cik Rahayu said, "okay! tak de masalah.. saya akan habis dalam masa 1 jam ni.."

Cik Fadzelah said, "mana bukti terbakar jari?" HAHAHA..

Puan Angela, "AWWWW!!! thank you" and i got hugs and kisses from her! hahaXD

then others, I gave Puan Mariani, Puan Siti Marani, Puan Noria, Puan Song, Puan Lee, Cik Haslina, Puan Norma, Puan Jeyanthi, Puan Rashidah, Puan Norhasliza, Puan Noor Suziana, and Puan Nor Diana.. =DD

I wanted to give En. Fauzan. The best sivic teacher I've ever had.. but then leh.. dia tak datang.. so sad.. for him. cause cannot try my cookies.. HAHAXD nola nola jokinggg.. (>.<)

and then, i gave my juniors the cookies to try.. namely, to Jarrett and I asked him to give it to niren and melvin and the others to share it.. because he was the first person I saw.. i mean, I saw Melvin too... but he was on duty.. so, fine lo. .. . . i gave it to Jarrett..

THEN, at the end of the day, when emily, viv and I wanna go Papparich to have lunch, I saw the juniors.. I went to them and asked how was the cookies..

Melvin: best pet-bro huh? *cause I gave jarrett his SUPER belated bdae present.. his bdae was 29 March and I gave it TODAY. . .. *
me: whaaaat??? you're not even my pet bro.. you're my pet sis..
Melvin: best pet-bro huh?? i see I see..
Niren: yalaaaaa.. she everytime also Jarrett Jarrett..
me: yorrrr.. why you like that wann.. .. anyway, how was the cookies..?
Niren: IT SUCK!
melvin: yeah yeah..
me: o.o.. harrrrrrrrrrrrr.. . . .. ?
Niren: WHY you never give us present?? why give Jarrett?? and then WHY you pass the cookies to Jarrett and not to melvin or me?? WHY JARRETT??
me: I. .. .
melvin: YEAH! why we dun have individual pack?? why must sharee??
me: I. .. . .*sigh*

*walks away SLOWLYYYYY, feeling the pain penetrating my heart.. after walking quite far from them, I heard them shouting...*

melvin: AND MY HEART IS SHATTERING INTO MILLION OF PIECESSS!!
Niren: It's shatteringggggggggg~!!! we're SO HURTTTT!!!!

T.T gosh.. how hurtinggggg. .. .sobssss.. it's not that I dun wan to give you all larr. .. . .T.T next time, i'm gonna make hundreds and stuff it into your mouth until you get sick of it.. if you're not gonna open your mouth, I'm gonna stuff it throught your nose.. and if you have nose block, I'm gonna stuff it through your butt!

SMART juniors. .. . bully me LAAAA~~ mei sei gorrrr.. . . which MEANS, to niren.. i know you dun understand.. it MEANS, HAVENT DIE BEFORE!

and then, I saw Nabila..

me: Nabila! my grandpapa can SING WAN ARRR??
Nabila: huh? who??
me: my grandpapa laaaa..
Nabila: Jun Bin arrr??
me: ya.. of course..
Nabila: of course. he's Jay Chou..
me: *turns to keanloong and siewjin with the question mark face*
keanloong: HAHAHAHAXDD jay chou! hahahahahaXD

btw, the whole school was infected by the "FOOL" disease.. ALL BECAUSE OF ALEX CHEAH! who keep saying, "FOOL!" and it was stuck in my head... so I kept saying it.. so everytime when ppl call me back FOOL.. i will say, "its not just fool.. but its FOOL! Alex says you must say it with expression.. say it like you MEAN IT!!!! FOOL!"

then everyone started sayinggg.. hahahahXD darn funnnyyyy.. .. .

anyway, after school, went to eat with Emily and Vivian.. when we finish eating..

vivian: is that the very pretty chinese teacher?
emily: oh yaya..
me: NO LAAAA.. . . where gottt... *cause her back was facing us*
vivian: YES LAAAA.. its the bag she was holding it yesterday..
me: but she didnt attend school today.. . .
emily: oo.. .
vivian: Let's go lah~
emily: yeah.. auntie waiting ady..
me: okayy.. let's go *takes bag*
vivian: IS THAT YOUR BROTHER?!
me: oh shit.. . .yes IT IS. .... .

***

*sees alex*
me: FOOL! what you doing here, FOOL!
alex: FOOL! I wanna eat..
me: FOOL! why didnt you eat just now with us?! ka ka ciau ciau..
alex: i wanted wan.. but helped mummy to do something.. not like you, FOOL!
me: do.. WHAT, FOOL!?
alex: buy the dog food and helped her something.. YOU WILL BUY MEH..? FOOL!

the whole day we keep saying that word.. and kept laughing the whole way with his stupid acts.. and my funny stories in school.. and then i told him about vivian.. about how I teach her to say the word "FOOL!" and it was DARN FUNNYYYY!

alex: *turns on the radio in the car, choosing songs from cd, keep pressing 'skip'*
me: *looks at him.. *
alex: oh... I have been wanting to hear this song all day.. *presses number 3*

it was the lovestory plus viva la vida song.. then the first three beat played.. the part when the person pluck the strings at the first three beats.. then he said, "okay.. only that part.." then he pressed 'next'.. it was barely 2 secs!

i was like wth?!

alex: whaaatt?? i wanted to hear that only..
me: hahhaaha.. FOOL!
alex: wat?
me: fool!
alex: wat?
me: fool!
alex: wat?
me: wat?
alex: nono.. its WAT.. not what.. u must say it like you mean it!
me: WAT?!
alex: WAT?!

and it goes on and on and on..

then somehow the sentece ,"son of a b*itch*" came to the topic.. then he wanted to smack me..

alex: you said the B word! *want to smack me*
me: HOLD IT! *holds his hand* i'm COMPLEMENTING YOU!
alex: WAT?
me: you see, if you see from another point of vieww... you see, Bitch is a female dog, dog barks, bark is a part of nature... and nature is beautiful.. therefore, i'm calling you beautiful indirectly..
alex: *jaws drop, drop his arms helplessly*
me: *smiles*
alex: I SHOULD HAVE record that.. GOOD ONE MAN, SISTAH!!
me: thank you thank you.. .=DDD

I went to my room, and slept.. wanted to wake up at 4pm but then, when I woke up, I didnt know it was a afternoon nap or a sleep.. I was like wondering cause my curtains were closed.. then i looked at my watch.. 5.09PM, my first word was, "SHIT!!!"

I was late for tuitionnnn~~!! GOD... T.T reached Puan Jugdeep's at about 5.18pm? she was like, "its ookaayyyy.. . ." then we started our class.. damn fun mann.. she was telling us HER teacher's day experience and stuff.. after the class, i was talking to her husband..

and he was telling me that the 10 subjects thingy is starting OUR YEAR.. and he told me quite some stuff.. so, ppl.. take note.. we can only take 10 subjects.. it's starting at OUR year.. NOT THE form 3 JUNIOR'S year.. okaiiiii?? luckily I mmg got 10 subjects only..

but recess time, Simmarjit says he would drop Bio if can only take 10 subjects.. and Keanloong will drop chinese..

Will it happen? *in a serious tone* Let's find out after the commercial..

okay!! i know its lame.. I damn suka suka now.. soo happyyy.. everything is going so fineee.. but its just that i'm TIREDD!

and btw, I will upload the teacher's day pictures soon.. too many larrr.. sabar separuh daripada iman.. =)

glad that EVERYONE loved my cookies EXCEPT my BELOVED JUNIORS WHO I LOVE SO MUCH, namely, NIREN AND MELVIN.. Jarrett didnt say anything means they agree also laa.. but blardy hell.. not nice then finish it in 5 minutes.. hmphh..

ps: siewjin, didnt mean it laa.. love you, bao bei!!! =DD

When confusion strikes my mind,

The flashbacks just wouldn't leave me alone.

You're having beer outside,

when I am drunken inside.

I'm exhausted.

btw,

Happy Teacher's Day.

Goodnight, people.

At last, a night without terrorizing my mind and body.

No alarms waking me up at 1 am, 2 am, 2.30am, 3 am, 4am, 4.30 am, 5am, 5.30am.

No lights switched on in the middle of the night.

No more eye bags.

No more swollen eyes.

No more tears.

No more sleepless nights.

Most importantly,

No.

More.

BOOKS sleeping with me!!

End it, pls.

Karma, karma, karma. Luck, luck, luck.

In 2 and the half hours, it's gonna be 4 more days till I fly to Australia.
But, weird,
so weird.
Weird that I am not excited at all.
In fact, I dont even feel like going.

Usually, even if I go for a 3 days 2 nights camp, I will already start to plan what to bring two weeks ago. But now, 4 more days.

what am i gonna bring?

Clothes, i guess.

I'm just blank. I just don't have the mood to go anywhere at all. I feel like lying at the corner of my bed and start to sulk.

*sigh deeply* Hope all bad things come to an end.

Cook-ies for Teach-ers. =D

since I cant attend siewjin's party, so after posting the last post, I went to bake cookies for teacher's day.. my mom went for her line dancing class, so I thought I would just do it with my maid.

hm, NEW maid.

I dont know where are the tools. she LAGI dunno larr.. so, i find find find.. then at last, after about 30 minutes, I got all the things and ingredients out..

I started weighing stuff. and I SERIOUSLY needed her help.. cause everything was SO MESSY.. the first time i did ALL BY MYSELF.. usually my mom would assist me but but.. o.o this time.. i did it all by myself.. and MY MAID DIDNT EVEN HELP ME!

I kept calling for her help.. but she came, did one thing, then went back to the kitchen to idunnodowhat.. then i have to call her again.. then the same thing repeat.. again and again.. she JUST WOULDNT stand beside me to help me.. T.T blardy hell mann...

so, I did everything by myself. and now, I'm so tired that I can die.. 4 trays, 99 cookies.. my backbone damn pain weyhhh................. (>.<)



the dough.. look like dodol horrr.....??

99 of them.. actually there's 98 here. cause I ate one. I was so scared that it taste like shit.. luckily it was fine. =)

niceeeeee???

does it tempt you??

well it tempt puiyi already. she already BOOKED it the minute i told her I'm baking cookies.. while baking it, I called siewjin and asked her how was her party... and I couldnt hear a word EVERYONE was saying cause they keep passing the phone around =.=" and then in the end, I could hear sheng rei complain on how irritating I am cause I kept saying, "what?? whaat?"

not my fault! you guys keep passing the phone.. I dun even know who am I talking to. Anyway, have fun ppl there! =DDDD

ps: I burnt my finger ='( sobssss..

pps: I hope the teacher wont drop dead after eating the cookies.. (>.<)

ppps: good luck for Melvin's band performance which include Melvin and Jarrett tomorrow.. make me proud =)

pppps: good luck for zunzen's performance.. =)

btw, niren, who's your BLOODY SENIOR?? hahaXD yeah, I'm feeling better.. thanks man =) love ya!

28th May 2009

okay. Now, I'm back to normal mood. YAY! exam habbissssssss~~!!! woohooo!!!

Today, I was the normal hyper Sandra. First of all, I would like to apologize for not updating my blog for a WEEK! as puiyi said, "Sandra, its SO NOT you." of course, I am the type of person who blogs every single day and if I dont see you update your blog for ONE day, I will consider that as a ROTTEN BLOG.

yeah, I know.

It's not that I dont want to update but there's so many unhappy things happening around me and I SO DONT have the mood to blog.

well well.. last night.. let's see.. I was SO SLEEPY CAN DIE. came back from school with the sad sad swollen eyes. then had a nap before going to Mr. Roy and INDEED HE CHEERED ME UP. well, it's because of his lame jokes.. then I started laughing non stop. before that, I find it SO HARD just to smile. But now, everything's fine.

but then, in the car. wow. It's the first time I didnt even utter A WORD.

I had no appetite. Keep skipping meals. got scolded (>.<) by the SPOON BROTHER! hahaXD fine, eat then eat LO... so, last night.. about 9pm I started opening my Sivic book. I wasnt reading at all. All night just staring at my phone and sms-ing my dear Gracieeeee~ then talked on the phone bout an hour. After that baru I got satisfy and study.

It was kinda hard for me to study with shitty emotions but of course my darling cheered me up SO MUCH =D well, of course I know you'll always be there for me, right, darlingggg?? love ya! =D

I got a cup of coffee and gulped it down as fast as I could. Well well, I finished the whole 4 themes in the Sivic book that i NEVER THOUGHT i will finish it.. I was so proud of myself. I actually read EVERY SINGLE WORD from page 1 till 126 =DDD

about 12.30pm, I finished the whole thingy. and started PJ.. oh god, I dah habis bateri.. at 1 something I started to feel SUPER SLEEPIEEE ALREADY... then I THINK i slept.. then I dunno what time. I woke up.. read a few pages and slept.. wake up, memorise a few pages and slept back.. well.. it continued being like this for the whole night.. I thought everything I read wont be going into my head but surprisingly.. serba sedikit pun ada masuk laa.. but I didnt finish the whole PJ thingy.. because i thought I already spent the whole night last week reading and memorising it so this time, I just roughly flipped through just to refresh my memory..

wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep then got and sms.. Man U lost.. hahaXDD I remember Simmarjit betting with the 4 Omega guys.. so this morning, when the 4 omega guys saw him.. they were like, "macam mana, Simmarjit? bogel lari sekolah??"

HAHAHAHAHXDDD darn funnyyy mannn... so, EST Paper 1 started.. okay.. I crapped lots in the essay.. wrote about 430 words.. then after 10 minutes, Sivic started..

OH MY HEAVEN.

it's the BEST PAPER i have ever had on earth! cause EACH AND EVERY QUESTION was RIGHT from the textbook. as in, after every chapter, they have questions right? so yeah, teacher took EVERY SINGLE QUESTION FROM THERE and SO HAPPEN, i did every single question last night.. whoah.. cantik.. first time I did until so care free.. circle here circle there like playing tic tac toe only.. hahahaXD then when I finish the paper, i looked at the clock..

WALAO.. 45 minutes more.. T.T I wanted to sleep but I just cant sleep.. so I started writing stupid stuff.. hahaXD I mean, mostly its common sense but then, i kinda memorise the answer already? haha.. Low and I were like smiling at each other.. =D

and then we had Recess, Low and I went to Bintang Cafe and ate the biscuit I brought while discussing everything about PJ.. hahaXD cantik dia read my beautiful notes.. hahahaXD then, PJ started.. once we got the paper, I heard ppl gasping..

I was like, "WHAT WHAT??" then I read myself.. i was like, "AHHHH!!!" then puiyi and the others who havent get the paper were like, "WHAT WHAT??" then when they know the question, everyone wanted to scream.. but then, when we GASP also the teacher ask us to KEEP QUIET! no need us to scream, because we can hear ALPHA STUDENTS SCREAMS when they got the paper.. ESPECIALLY DERRICK LOW!

the question was,

Lukiskan gelanggang sepak takraw dengan ukuran yang tepat.

we were like, "WHAT?! sepak takraw?!" cause teacher asked us to memorise the tennis one only.. we were all dying.. and I already make a decision which is JUST DRAW THE TENNIS COURT because i dun even know a SINGLE THING about the sepak takraw court..

then, after that, we were about to C.O.L which is CRY OUT LOUD when teacher said they was changes in the paper.. and then, she wrote on the board.. cancel the word SEPAK TAKRAW and wrote TENIS.. all of us were like, "PHEWWWWW~!"

then during the PJ paper.. there was one question..

Sukan SEA yang ke-25 akan diadakan di...

A) Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
B) Laos
C) Vietnam
D) Bangkok, Thailand

SHIT! i thought.. that was the question i waste about 20 minutes to think.. I reallly didnt know.. I've come to a really desperate point..

This is what I wrote in my PJ paper EXACTLY! really desperate right? (>.<)

then, after PJ, everyone was so happpyyy.. cause the next paper is only EST paper 2.. then, i was so hyper man.. I keep talking and talking and talking, not afraid any of the information wil come out of my brainsss because EST paper 2 no need to memorise anything.. hahaXD

all of us started talking.. and then somehow the topic about SPOON brother came out.. then after that, dunno WHY everyone started pronouncing zhengkang's name..

emily: zhengkang.. how do you pronounce it? Sandra pronounce differently
puiyi: zhengkang laaaaa...
emily: zhengkang..
puiyi: no.. zhengkang. Sandra, how do you pronounce?.. OH YA HOR!! you dun call him zhengkang
sandra: =.= whaaattt...? zhengkang laa..
emily: see? different wan.. its zhengkang..
puiyi: I pronounce as zhengkang
siewjin: zhengkangg..

THEN! without noticing, teacher was RIGHT BESIDE US listening to our conversation, wondering what the hell are we doing, pronouncing ppl's name.. and the we started laughing like shit.. ahahhahahahaha.. there we are, standing at one corner of the class, pronouncing ppl's name with teacher standing RIGHT beside us but we didnt notice her.. HAHAXDD

then talk talk talk talk non stop.. and then EST Paper 2 started.. everyone finished quite fast.. then, somehow, Nanthienie, Niro, Michelle and I started playing around.. it started with me keep singing the Rihanna's new song.. and it kinda annoy the whole class.. hahahahahaXD then, I started disturbing Eugene who was like question mark question mark.. I started making my OWN jokes and started laughing at MYSELF.. the whole class was so quiet during the exam.. but Niro, Nan , Michelle and I started playing around..

talking with sign languages that can make you laugh your ass off.. then, I started laughing OUT LOUD then teacher was like, "what are you laughing at..?" then everyone quickly turn in front, afraid will kena also.. then i was like, "nola teacher.. just thinking about my boyfriend.." guess what she replied, "ohhh.. i seeeeeee *with a smile*" then the whole class turned back all of a sudden at started laughing at me..

hahahahhaXD damn funneh like shyte.. hahahahahaXD =DDDD

then, after thaattt, all of us were so hyper. Mostly, me. =D

then went for Chinese tuition. Complaint so much to Alex.. and he was like, “chill la..” and then he started giving me unwanted lectures which makes me ask him to “SHUT UP!”

chaos.. gotta go bake cookiessss~ (>.<)

I love you.

17 weeks, darling =)

I wonder if I can take it any longer.

The old me is dead and gone.

I’ll just talk briefly on what happened this few days.

Sunday night/ Monday.

After having dinner with my family, I went back and started studying. But then, I only started opening the book after 12am. I was really tired, so I made a cup of coffee and started studying until 5.30am. and at that time, my body really couldn’t take it, so I fell asleep for 10 minutes and woke up for school

I went to school and I remember being VERY hyper and kept annoying puiyi with the “kiss me through the phone” song. HahaXD

While having the second paper of sejarah, I started not to feel well. All of a sudden I cant breathe properly. My lungs were so pain every time I breathe and I thought of killing myself on the spot because it was so pain. Siewjin was so worried about me. In fact, the whole class was worried about me. Even AJITPAL! =D

Really thankful to have this kind of friends. But one thing for sure, I screwed my Sejarah.

Monday night/ Tuesday.

After piano, it was around 8 something or 9pm. My parents and brother was gone. They went to watch the preview of Terminator Salvation.

Without me.

They weren’t at home and my maid went back.. so, I was alone. Home Alone. Like the first time in my life. Well, it wasn’t their fault. I dint wanna go as I was having add maths the very next day. They bought me KFC for dinner though. Howeverrrrrr, I thought I could use the time to study but it turns out that I use the time to sleep~! I slept SO EARLY and I dint study at ALL! Because my lungs started to be very pain again. I didn’t know what’s wrong with me. And I thought I was going to die. Alone.

Okay. No. Just joking.

Not funny huh?

Fine.

Well, the very next day, after sitting for Add maths. I was the only one who said it was SO EASY LIKE DUNNO WHAT. Well, It was true! It’s SO EASY that I think I’m some new nerd people who created new complicated formulas for function and other stuff that I, MYSELF don’t even understand WHAT THE HELL I WAS WRITING! So?

Die LA!

Tuesday night/ Wednesday.

I had a very bad headache after school. It continued until night time after tuition. So, after tuition, my mom fetched me back. I asked her if I can go to siewjin’s house.. well, practically TOLD her, because I thought siewjin was my bestie, so its IMPOSSIBLE for me NOT to go for her thingy? But, no.

My mom thinks, after a 3 weeks of hell, of exams, with sleepless nights, its TOO MUCH and TOO DEMANDING for me, to go to my best friend’s party.

Great huh?

Fine. I didn’t get angry. I wasn’t angry. I was, a little. But, it was cool with me. So, I went back to my room WITHOUT GIVING A SUCKY FACE to study today’s chemistry. But my headache was getting worse, so, I tried to get some rest. Because it was HURTING ME!

Somehow, I didn’t know why I locked my door. Probably trying to get some peace. But, all of a sudden, my mom was banging through the door and ACCUSING me of using the BLOODY DAMN SHIT COMPUTER when the BLOODY DAMN SHIT laptop was IN MY BROTHER’s ROOM.

Well, I told her dad in a VERY KINDA POLITE TONE. Well, guess what she replied?

“THEN YOU ARE ON THE PHONE LARH!”

like wtf? I’ve been working my ass off for this 3 weeks for the stupid bloody exam, and NOW, I’m having headache, AND I WANT TO REST but I had a strong will to study.. BUT YOU ARE SAYING THAT I AM ENJOYING BEHIND THE LOCKED DOORS?

Well, I cant take it anymore. These days she keep saying things that I don’t know what the hell is she thinking about! Not mentioning the other little things that I can call it TERRORIZING MY MENTAL!

I seriously cant take it, with the strong pain beating in my head. I finally broke down. I haven’t cried this hard before. Really. I cried till I sleep. Waking up and my eyes were swollen like don’t know what.

And Vivian says I look innocent with that eyes. Cute, she said. =.=”

Well, I went to school, and every interval of some time, when I talk to siewjin or Low about it, I would start to cry. Even when I’m sitting for the paper, even when I’m in the car. I just don’t know why I’m so soft in this. SO SHITTY ya noe?

I have come to this point, that WHATEVER she want me to do, I would just do it. If she wants me to die, I would just stab myself to death in front of her. EVERYTHING! Whatever she wants.

I wonder if I can take it any longer.

Just when I thought,

I woke up at 7am this morning. Last night had some fun time with Derek and Dana. they are bloody crappy mann.. yeahh.. so had dinner there.. all of a sudden only derek's mom ajak us to go there for dinner....

the food were bloody delicious.. hahaXD
and then we had icy wineyy =D

you know what Derek and dana are busy playing??? they went to Friendster.. and started...

shooting ducks =.="

and they can be so syok of shooting it..

as if Malaysia v.s Man U.. and the score was 10- 0.. 10 for m'sia of course.. hahaXD
then our parents started karaoke-ing.. gosh!!!
it was so noisy.. they sing until out of tune.. until.. DANA HAVE TO STUFF TISSUE INTO HER EARS.. and my eardrum almost burst..

went back and my tummy was still bloody pain.. then no one to sms.. so, I started drawing.. and taking out colour pencils to colour stuff I draw.. my whole room is in a mess.. not only my room.. BUT MY HOUSE TOO!!!

AND I GAVE UP HALFWAYYYY.....

u cant imagine.. it was just less than 24 hours we have no maid.., and my house is like.. kena some tornado like that.. oh gosh.. look at my bed.. i dun even have enough fingers to count how many things there are on my bed.. towels.. clothes.. skirts.. bottles.. bags.. books.. bear.. phones.. colour pencils.. and my table!

usually after a hard day of studying non stop, I would just leave the books all over and go to school.. when I come back, everything would be in place again.. but now.. it still where I put it before I go out. its SO MESSY!!!!!! gosh! T.T I cant stand another 2 days without maid.. T.T

so, today, I woke with books and non-living things ALL AROUND ME.. haizz.. i barely got 1 quarter of the bed.. hahaXD went for breakfast in Old Town.. and for replacement tuition.. came back.. and i wasnt feeling well AT ALL.. cramps like shit.. probably also cause of the adrenaline rushing in me for tomorrow's sejarah exams..

bloody hell.. I'm still darn blur on what to read.. I'm failing it.. T.T sobssss..

help me.. T.T

I was suffering from bloody pain stomach cramps.. and then, suddenly I read somemone's blog.. that made me LAUGH LIKE MY MOTHER BOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD FOR ME.. and I think my stomach pain got worse cause I cant stop laughing.... hahahahahahahahahhaXDD seriously.. hahahahahahXD

just when I thought there was nobody to count on,

you walked into my life

and lit up every single thing in it.