Do you feel me?

this was suppose to be a happy post.. SUPPOSE..

you know what??

everything really went really well today..

i was really happy today.. but of course, worried every single second when i'm in school.

I wanted to know how are you and stuff..

but i was okay the whole day, happy and hyper as usual.

until,

things made me moody.

first, I worry non-stop the whole day.
second, my "dear" junior scolded me.
third, the stupid ransack-ers who bloody stole my lock.
fourth, thanks to keanloong.
fifth, I feel like i got cheated AGAIN. lied to, AGAIN.

I really want to breakdown.

let me elaborate.

for the first, i dont have to elaborate much. it's just obvious.

for the second, you see, there's this girl, who fell down.. and got injured.. its just a small cut, and this lovely st john junior go and put iodine, gauze bandage, tape it.. and then BANDAGED it with triangular bandage.. and PUT HER ON A WHEEL CHAIR.. and wheel her around. for?

fun. =.="

er.. hello?? its JUST A SMALL CUT.. and what's with the triangular bandage?? =.=" didnt you like, passed your EFA examinations? like JUST?? fine, that's nothing.. but you DONT HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME OKAYH!

i'm just trying my best, to lower down my voice,
trying my best, to talk as polite as i can,
trying my best, to ask you what the HELL ARE YOU FREAKING DOING!

and you shouted at me.

er, excuse me?? there's something in this freaking world, call RESPECT. and there's SOMETHING in this world call RESPECTING SENIORS.. you dont shout right through your senior's face and making conclusions that their scolding you when they are freaking freaked out by what you did on that poor girl.

all the seniors were shocked and went wthell.. when its just a small matter, and you wrap her bloody leg like she break her legs into a million pieces.. =.=

THIRD matter: we spent 4 periods in the library.. which equals to 40 minutes x4 = 2 hours and 40 minutes. yeah.. so, we were happy to stay in the air conditioned room.. so, when we were about to go back, i met MATTER NO.2.. so i went to class later.. cause i need to take out the bandage and stuff.. back to the topic,

so, i went into the class, everyone looked as if something had gone wrong.. so, yeah.. something REALLY GONE WRONG.. our bags are all wide-opened.. and our lockers are all opened too.. and everything was in a mess... yeah.. someone CAME IN TO OUR CLASS, and ran through our bags.. and stole stuff..

what we lost?

well, emily lost her money in her purse.. yuenping lost her prefect kit money.. i lost my stupid padlock.. which i dont really care.. but i make a big fuss out of it for fun.. and which i dunno what the heck they wanna do with it cause they dont have the freaking key T.T michelle lost Jasmine's pendrive.. and lastly, vivian lost her 8GB pendrive..

FOURTH matter: i was quite moody after that for i dont know what reasons.. then, after St.John meeting, we celebrated xinyi's bdae in the canteen.. and.. thanks to someone who was born on 9 January 1993.. spoilt my day.. "THANKS" so much man.. you've done such a "GOOD" deed.. keanloong, you suck.

and yeah, the FIFTH matter, my whole day started with a perfect shiny bright day.. and it end up in a damn gloomy day.. and things got worse.. fine, so this is the story.. i used her phone to message someone.. and so, while i was deleting the messages i sent to her, i accidentally saw something.. "o.. she have a boyfriend," i thought..

who could the lucky guy be? in her namelist, it state there "liar!" curiously, i check her namelist.. and the number.. i knew that number. i am familiar with that number.

"oh.my.god. its.bloody.him."

sometimes, i wonder.. why does she have to lie to us? i was SO ANGRY when i knew the truth. yeah righttt.. broke up.. break my ass.. you have NO IDEA how dissapointed i were.. you have NO IDEA how my heart break into how many million pieces. i'm telling you,

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

during tuition, i just stared at the board blindly.. stare, stare and stare.. when teacher give questions, i just KEEP staring.

wondering,

"why?? WHY everytime,
everytime our relationship gets better,
you will fail or lie to me..

It's the fifth time, you know?
you completely destroyed my life.

you,
lied to us,
once again.

you,
lied to us,
for the how many time?

how long do you wanna keep that bloody secret?
if it wasnt me accidentally saw your messages,
how long you wanna keep it from us?

right, probably outsiders will think like, ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS ALSO.. why the heck you care so much??

you know what?? you guys dont FREAKING understand..

fine.

yeah.. why should i care? wasnt that my FIRST thought?? and you guys BEGGED me to talk to her, remember?? and why the HELL am i talking to her now?? cause i freaking CARE about her.. so, now you're asking me, to ignore her again?? to waste my energy on her??

no, thanks. I decided to mind my own butt business.. but i want you to know, i careD bout you before this, its because you WERE a part of my life.

Happiness between us will just end here.

erm, FYI, you dont have to lie to us, you know?

btw, thank you to ppl who successfully spoil my day.
thank you for wasting my tears.

I'm TELLING you,
I WAS happy.

yea, WAS.

and, no, i'm NOT okay.

and to ppl, like val, emily or whoever i shouted to or something like that.. sorry for being rude.. it was really not the right time for me to talk to you guys.. sorry for being SUPER disgustingly sarcastic.. but i was really pissed.. and i would like to sincerely thank my dearest juniors, Niren and Jarrett for being there for me all the time.

to look for me in my class just to have a little chat with me eventhough you guys were skipping class,
eventhough you guys were having your intervensi..
to msg me if i came to school when you didnt see me,
to msg me to see if i'm okay after seeing me being down,
to care about me,
to ask how am i everyday,
to console me when i'm down,
to keep whatever i told you guys as a secret,
to skip recess just to check on me,
to get screwed by MY teacher when you come and look for me without a pass,
to hike up all the way to fourth floor to see if i am okay,
and lastly, to listen to my deepest thoughts.

thanks, guys. really appreciate it..

i hope she will be like that too. i mean, she WAS.. not is.. ... ='( how good if its present tense..