RE: ignorance is bliss??

The sentence "I AM HYPER" will be changed to past tense.. "I WAS HYPER"

you know what? the moment i read your post, i wanted to breakdown RIGHT ON THAT SECOND. you find it heartbreaking to love someone who constantly turn he/her back to you everytime you try to approach, to explain or even to throw a simple smile.

hey! look HERE!
do you find telling ppl's secrets all around fun??
Do you think it wasnt heartbreaking for me to constantly turn my back on you whenever you approach me, to explain or even to throw a simple smile??

I,

trusted you.

in fact, you were practically the one i trust MOST. i guess i have to bold the word "MOST" because you might probably think i told every single soul in school or whatsoever..

Do you know, how it feels, when you develop trust on a person you love and when they just simply break the trust and spill everything out?

to be honest,

I RESPECTED you,
I LOVED you,

and most importantly,

I TRUSTED you.

do you expect me, to JUST forgive you after whatever your stupidity had done to my life? you have NO IDEA how would it ruin my life if the thing spreads. Dont you understand?? I.DONT.WANNA.LOSE.HIM.

he brightens up my life,
he add hyperness into my hyper life,
he cares about me,
he does everything my way,

and most importantly,

he loves me. fullstop.

have you ever thought, what if things went bad?? you didnt think of the consequences I WOULD face, did you?

Dont blame the innocent.
Dont ask them to hike all the way to fourth floor just to say spam me with SORRYs one by one.
Dont make them beg me!

you have NO IDEA how it feels when seniors start begging me. WHAT, can i do?? OBVIOUSLY, i can't be rude to them. they are my seniors.. ASK ANYONE IN CLASS, ask puiyi, ask Mei Ying, ask yuen ping! ask THEM! how did i control my anger in class.. how SAD AND ANGRY i was at the same time.

Blame no one, but yourself.

I'm not TRYING to be evil here. you HAVE to know how I FEEL! how i was let down by someone i REALLY TRUST WITH MY HEART AND SOUL.

yeah.. you THOUGHT.. you THOUGHT it was a joy to spread. do you think in my life, you would think it was a JOY to spread?? i told you! i TOLD YOU, didnt I??

you know what? the moment i read your post, i felt like crying and i want to hug you. i want to ask you, what have you been thinking? where was my trust towards you? what am i to you? why did god let me trust you? why did god let me love you so much? and,

why do i feel sucky when i'm ignoring you.

i guess, the answer was simple.

I love you and you meant a lot to me.

but,
i bet,
you didnt know i felt.
you have NO idea how does it feel,
when someone turns your back on you.
It's not that i dont wanna forgive you.
any microorganism in school or wherever knows that i cant be angry at ppl for long.
but,
you hurt me too much,

eventhough, you may think its not a big deal, but it is to me. cause the person i love, has betrayed me.

think,
about.. THAT.

and now, i'm typing this shitty post with tears dropped all around my keyboard. and i'm thinking,

what.shall.i.do.

*nothing pops up in my mind.*